


And I'll Be With You When The Deal Goes Down

by easilydistractedbyfanfic



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Chemistry, Cussing, F/M, Forced Pregnancy, Mentioned parental abuse, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Canon, Reproductive Compatibilty, Smut, Using Science to Suit My Purposes, but is it really, population control, they have it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-01-10 23:56:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18418562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easilydistractedbyfanfic/pseuds/easilydistractedbyfanfic
Summary: Everyone raised on the Ark believes that the mandatory birth control implants are doing a great job at curtailing the birth rate. Everyone knows that their resources are limited, and population control is a key factor in the success of the human race. Everyone knows that there’s a restriction on how many children can be born each year, and that this is heavily regulated by those at the top of the medical & political hierarchy. Everyone is wrong. This isn’t just a lie. It’s the exact opposite of the truth, and it weighs heavily on Abby Griffin’s mind every day as she races to find a solution to the problem before things get worse.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is just about complete and should run 8 chapters or so. Been working on it a while & hope you enjoy!
> 
> Author’s note - Story takes place on the Ark in space prior to Season 1. Assume characters, experiences, families and storyline are the same as canon EXCEPT for the following: the age to be floated is 21, not 18. The concerns about the Ark and oxygen failing have not come into play in this alternate timeline.  
> 

Well, the moon gives light and it shines by night  
When I scarcely feel the glow  
We learn to live and then we forgive  
Over the road we're bound to go  
More frailer than the flowers, these precious hours  
That keep us so tightly bound  
You come to my eyes like a vision from the skies  
And I'll be with you when the deal goes down  
~ When The Deal Goes Down, Bob Dylan

 

Raven Reyes sits in the tiny, windowless room on the Ark, tapping her fingers agitatedly on the table in front of her as she waits for the most recent test to start. This is the second time she’s done this test, and so far she thinks it’s totally pointless, just like most of the other ‘exercises’ they’re all put through in the name of science. Sighing loudly, she rereads the handout that Dr. Jackson gave her when he showed her into the claustrophobic room.

 

“ _We know that the years we have spent in space have affected our bodies, and because this has happened for generations of Ark residents, the genetic changes and mutations that have developed are likely numerous. Medical facility staff have devised multiple tests to help learn more about the evolution of these changes, such as increased stamina, a stronger sense of smell, and many other such examples. Studying blood samples from previous Ark residents and comparing them to current Ark residents are another way we can learn about changes to our DNA. We continue to discover more about these alterations every year, and your participation in these tests will go a long way in assisting our Ark community. We appreciate your time and understanding._ ”

 

Rolling her eyes, she pushes the paper across the flat surface, annoyed at the pollyanna tone of it. Participation isn’t exactly on a volunteer basis, since these tests are mandatory, and ever since Finn got put into the Sky Box almost two years ago for a rule that _she_ broke, her attitude towards authority has steadily worsened. Her patience with all things related with the Ark and its politics completely soured, and a large part of her wishes she could knock the covered boxes off the table in front of her and tell everyone to fuck off and leave her alone. But that won’t do Finn any good, even though she sometimes thinks that joining him in the prison area of the ship might be her best option. Instead, he begged her to go along with the rules of their society and stay out of trouble. Unable to refuse him, she had promised him she would, so when the summons came for her to come to the Med Bay today, like it has so many instances before, she showed up right on time.

 

A knock sounds on the door, immediately followed by Dr. Jackson reappearing, his arms full of medical equipment. He proceeds to hook her up to multiple monitors by attaching little wires along various parts of her body with sticky little circles.

 

“Alright, I think you know the drill already. This is one of the scent tests like you did about two weeks ago. We’ll be looking for changes in your bodily responses and how you react to the three scents we’re trying today. I’ll be in the next room, watching your heart rate and breathing, among other things. We want to start off with a base reading for comparison purposes, so we’ll play some relaxing music in the beginning and between each scent. Don’t uncover any boxes until you are told to do so. Once the instruction comes, lift the object out of the box and take a deep sniff, breathing it in, and repeat that process until I tell you to put it back. Any questions?”

 

Shaking her head, she sits back in the padded chair and tries to get comfortable. Sounds just as stupid as the first time she did this test, honestly. Who the hell cares whether subsequent generations of humans have gotten a better sense of smell after being in space for extended periods of time? She sure doesn’t. There’s not even much up here in space _to_ smell, unlike the things she’s learned about Earth from all of her time spent reading. What she’d give to walk through some of the gardens and forests that she’s read about… Anyway, seems to her there’s a lot more interesting and more important things that their medical staff could be spending their time on, but unless you were from Alpha Station, good luck trying to convince anyone of that.

 

Dr. Jackson leaves the room after ensuring that all the wires are in place, and soon after, soft classical music starts to play from a speaker on the opposite wall. Despite herself, it does soothe away some of her tension, and she’s feeling pretty neutral when she opens the first box to reveal a white t-shirt. _Great,_ she thinks, _more sweaty shirts to sniff, just like last time_. Scrunching her nose up in distaste at the scent of it, she nonetheless follows the instructions and breathes it in, noting that the small tag at the bottom of the shirt is labeled Subject 6. She knows that the scent will fade once she returns it to the box and has a few minutes to sit back and loosen up before opening box number two, but she doesn’t remember any of the shirts from the first test smelling this awful. This shirt was disgusting and almost makes her gag, and she imagines who wore it with a frown - Subject 6 is definitely gross.

 

Eventually she’s on to the next box, which reveals Subject 110. The shirt also smells sweaty and distasteful but thankfully isn’t as off-putting, and she lets her mind wander. By the time she opens box three, she’s mentally reviewed the last repair Sinclair had her do over in Farm Station, which gives her an idea on how to increase energy output from their solar panels that she can’t wait to talk to him about. The new inspiration goes right out of her head, however, once she breathes in the third shirt that comes from Subject 228.

 

This one is… different. The three shirts she remembers from the first round of testing and the two she’s already sniffed today all feel very far removed from this one. She knows she’s still smelling a sweaty piece of clothing, but the scent of it is actually rather appealing to her, which is a strange thing to admit about a dirty shirt. No one has told her that all the shirts have come from males, but that’s the evidence her nose tells her, anyway. As much as she was repulsed by who might have worn the first shirt, she’s even more intrigued about who could have worn this one. She wants to breathe it in longer and can feel her cheeks redden at the thought. A little embarrassed, she’s aware that Jackson and any of the other medical staff are probably going to note that her heartbeat has kicked up a few notches on this last sample. For a fleeting moment, she wonders if asking who Subject 228 is might be worth the humiliation the question would bring, but she dismisses the possibility almost immediately. Certainly it would be unethical for them to tell her, and though her interactions with Dr. Abby Griffin, Med Bay Chief, have been brief, something tells her she’d consider patient confidentiality an unbreakable rule.

 

Jackson’s voice comes over the speaker, advising her to put the shirt into the box, and she takes one last deep sniff and regretfully folds it back up, her fingers smoothing out a few small wrinkles in the process. Whoever Subject 228 is, she doesn’t think she’s ever run into him before. Somehow she knows she wouldn’t have forgotten that scent if she’d ever gotten that close. Embarrassing or not, she’s going to be sniffing people a little more carefully after today, on the off chance she’ll find the wearer of that shirt. Just to appease her curiosity.

 

***

 

Exhausted, Abby sits in her office, reviewing the latest test results. It’s past midnight and she’s been on her feet all day. But there’s been so few pregnancies in the last four years and Abby knows that whatever genetic issues are causing this, it’s getting worse. So she’s no stranger to late nights anymore. A year ago, Chancellor Jaha gave her more leeway with testing permissions than he ever has, but in her opinion, it was still too limited. She’d finally had something of a breakthrough that could at least mitigate the problem, but there wasn’t enough evidence to prove it just yet. She was determined to get it, however, and thought back to her conversation with her friend, David Miller, a high-ranking guard currently stationed in the Sky Box. He hadn’t liked her plan, but had been willing to go along with it once he understood how dire things were. It’ll be her that will take the fall if any of this backfires, though, she’ll make sure of it. She brought both David and Eric Jackson in on her rule-breaking, and she’ll be damned if either of them suffer for her choices. But as she looks over the most recent entry in front of her, she feels a thrill of anticipation. Maybe she won’t need to worry about consequences after all.

 

***

 

Raven pulls the sticky white t-shirt away from her skin, beads of sweat running between her breasts. _This certainly hadn’t been any fun_ , she scoffs. The day after she’d gone in for the second scent test, the white shirt had been delivered to the room she shared with three other young women, and the printed instructions had been clear - she was to wear it under her clothes for five days straight, and sleep in it as well. Then she was to come back to the medical lab, bringing the shirt along. When she’d arrived a few hours ago, Jackson had smiled and directed her to a room so she could pull the short-sleeved shirt on again, and then he’d had her running on a treadmill for what seemed like forever. He had wanted her to get it sweaty, and he’d been awfully good at changing the settings to progressively make the running more difficult. She didn’t mind working up a sweat when the occasion called for it, but this was probably the most intense workout she’d ever had.

 

Finally, her torture ends, and Jackson had almost gleefully taken the shirt from her after she’d come out of the changing room. She can’t wait to take a shower and get clean, but she hasn’t been dismissed yet, so she stands awkwardly out of the way as Jackson carefully labels her shirt as Subject 314. Grinning, she wonders if other guinea pig testers will sniff her shirt and rear back in dismay, or if she might ever get a reaction like Subject 228 had brought out in her. Her smile fades, and she’s suddenly not sure that she wants anyone to have that kind of response over her sweaty sample. It’s been on her mind more than she cares to admit, how frequently she’s thought about the wearer of that shirt, what he looks like, if she already knows him, what he’d be like, whether she’d be interested if she met him in person… No, she reminds herself. She had Finn. He was her boyfriend before he’d been arrested, and she was just lonely sometimes. She was entertaining harmless fantasies, that was all.

 

Jackson looks up and sends her on her way, telling her that he’ll be in touch. She’s not quite sure how to take that comment, but she nods purposefully and walks quickly to her room, intending to get a change of clothes before heading to the women’s showers. As soon as she’s gone, Jackson sits at the console nearest him and speaks into the receiver.

 

“We can proceed with the test for Subject 228. Yes, I know we have to do things very carefully on this one… If we do the test within the next few hours, we can have the results back by morning… Right… Well, neither one of them are in a position to say no, if this works out like we think it will... No, I know, but Abby, you’re the one always reminding me that there’s a much bigger cause at stake here. I gotta believe that the ends justify the means, and anyway, we’re not forcing them - it’ll be their decision… Okay, yeah, I’ll do that.” Closing his eyes briefly, and hoping that his words are true, Jackson gets started on the next step in the process.

 

***

 

For the second time that day, John Murphy walks along the dimly lit hallway, accompanied by David Miller, one of the highest ranking guards on the Ark. His hands are cuffed behind his back, but Guard Miller has always been kinder than most, and this time the cuffs don’t dig into his wrists. He’s led to the same room he was in earlier, but this time there aren’t any covered boxes on the small surface inside, and the monitors that were present are gone. There’s also two chairs on opposite sides of the table, when earlier there was only one. He slumps into the nearest seat, and Guard Miller pats him on the shoulder and tells him he’ll be right outside. With nothing to do but wait, Murphy closes his eyes and rhythmically taps his foot until he hears the faint sound of the door knob turning. He watches suspiciously as a short and slender woman with a long lab coat enters the tiny space.

 

“Hi, John. You might not remember me, but I’m Dr. Abby Griffin. I’m here to talk to you about something very important.”

 

Murphy stares impassively just over Abby’s shoulder. He remembers her, alright, not that he’ll tell her. She’d treated him quite a few times after his dad died, when his mother got out of hand with the drinking. In her gentle way, she had tried to get him to confess what was going on, both of them fully aware how he’d gotten injured, but he’d never admitted things. And look where that had gotten him. He doesn’t have anything to say, and isn’t thrilled about the urge he has to actually be polite, so he offers a noncommittal shrug in response.

 

A faint smile crosses her lips before she leans over the desk towards him, abruptly serious. “Listen carefully, because I’m going to tell you a few things, and then you’re going to have to make a big decision in a very short amount of time. Know that there is no record of this meeting, and that both myself and Guard Miller will deny this ever took place. You’ve been in the Sky Box a long time - you know that it’s very unusual for any prisoner to participate in the kinds of tests you’ve been doing lately. By my count, you’ve had multiple scent tests. Earlier today, you sniffed your thirteenth, fourteenth and fifteenth shirt samples.”

 

Intrigued despite himself, Murphy finally meets Abby’s gaze. He _has_ wondered why he’s been singled out, why he’s getting these tests, because he knows for a fact that a prisoner like him wouldn’t normally be included. He tries to reply in as emotionless a tone as possible, not wanting to give away his curiosity. “Yeah, so?”

 

“So what I’m about to tell you is something only a very few people know. Genetically, our population is dying. We haven’t been regulating the population for years - it’s just that pregnancies are becoming increasingly rare. During yearly checkups, we’ve secretly removed all of the birth control implants from anyone over eighteen, but even so, barely anyone has gotten pregnant. Because I’m the Chief Doctor, I tend to be the first to know about any… illegal pregnancies, shall we say. And I cover them all up so no one gets arrested. I urge the couple to get married and then lie about how far along they are. Or, less often, I help hide the pregnancy, deliver the baby and it gets adopted by a couple who hasn’t been able to get pregnant and they keep quiet because they’re desperate for the child. However, the problem is getting worse.”

 

Murphy can’t help the shock that makes his eyes widen, even though he would prefer to remain stoic. But this is a scandal - for years, the entire population of the Ark has been lied to, and he’s actually hearing about it by someone who would know. It’s not like he didn’t think this place was capable of it, but to have it laid out so boldly is more surprising than he would have expected.

 

Abby continues, her head slightly tilted as she takes in his small changes in body language that give away his attention. “I’ve been tasked with the job of finding out _why_ things are going so wrong. I’ve been working on it for a long time, but I still have no definitive answers. Not long ago, it occurred to me that perhaps instead of studying what could be going wrong, I should study when it’s going _right_.” She’s pleased when she notices John leaning just the slightest bit towards her, as though he’s interested in her explanation. He was an inquisitive kid, she remembers, asking a lot of questions, although that could also have been to distract her from how he’d gotten something like a broken arm in the first place. “Using the cover of the effects on our bodies from the time we’ve spent in space, we’ve done medical and genetic testing with a focus on those couples who have gotten pregnant without any help. It’s hard to make a conclusive statement because the sample size is so small, but one thing we’ve noticed is that there is always a positive reaction to each other from both the male and the female partner to the scent test.”

 

She drops that statement on him and then goes silent, and Murphy’s foot, which has been tapping nonstop since he sat down, finally slows to a halt. She was right - earlier that day he’d sniffed another three of those damned shirts, bringing his total to fifteen, and that last shirt had been different than all of the rest of them. Subject 314. It was the opposite of anything else he’d come across during those stupid tests, because it had smelled _good_. He’d sat in this very same chair, hours ago, and his body had gotten hard as he breathed in the shirt as instructed. As compelling as the smell was, he’d actually been weirded out over his reaction after he’d gone back to the Sky Box. Was he so hard up that a fucking _smell_ was enough to get him in the mood at this point? Yeah, so maybe he’d made use of his hand, coming hard in the privacy of his cell as he imagined what kind of woman could have worn that shirt and what she’d done to get so sweaty, but it wasn’t like he didn’t have any opportunity for the real thing. The Sky Box was harsh, but there were ways to make a lot of things happen, and he should know after being a resident for so long. Still, Abby’s reveal is enough to have him clenching his jaw tightly, because he’s getting the feeling that nothing good is going to come from this.

 

“I’ve been putting shirts on almost every man of age on the Ark, letting women do the sniff test on them, but there are levels of compatibility to the matches that make things more difficult. I needed more to work with because timing is so tough, so I decided to add some of the prisoners to my sample list. You’re getting closer to twenty-one, John. We both know what happens then. I’ve always wished that I tried harder to help you, that I shouldn’t have let you lie to me when we both knew what was going on. Maybe… Anyway, you were perfect as a test subject and I’ve used your scent sample with more women than you probably want to know about. I don’t think it will come as a surprise to you when I tell you we’ve found someone you’re compatible with.”

 

He’s not proud that his first thought is of Subject 314. His immediate reaction should have been anger that she was using him in this way, that the good of the Ark was yet again sacrificing the individual. His hands clench into fists where they’re still bound behind his back, even though he sees the guilt on Abby’s face.

 

“I know it’s not fair, but nothing about this life ever really is. So here’s the deal - according to our feedback, you’re highly, and I do mean _highly_ compatible with a female test subject. I want the two of you to agree to this, so I’m giving you both an incentive I think you’ll find worthwhile. I need more proof that my theory is correct, because if I can take that proof to Jaha, we can use the test results to increase the pregnancy rate, and maybe eventually, if we figure out why it works like this, we could have success at doing it via artificial insemination rather than making matches between people in this way. And that would mean that the population here could rebound as long as we track things genetically. You have seven months before you turn twenty-one. If you accept my deal, you will fully participate and make every attempt to impregnate the female subject, and you will allow medical staff to do further testing, within reason, and allow the possibility of medication or methods that will increase the chances of pregnancy. If you get her pregnant before those seven months are up, I’ll make sure you don’t get floated, and by then you’ll be too valuable as a verifiable genetic father to get rid of. So what do you say? Are you in or are we both going to forget that this conversation ever happened?”

 

To say that this was all a strange turn of events was an understatement. He stares at the wall for a moment, weighing his options. After his dad died, he’d never wanted to have a kid, not ever. His childhood had ended, his family fell apart, and his mother… well, the less said about her, the better. He had deliberately been overly cautious when it came to sex, figuring it was always better to be safe than sorry. The idea of a kid being raised on the hellscape of the Ark still doesn’t please him, but is that a worse fate than dying? Honestly, he’s not even sure. But the thing is… if he agrees to this, even if it doesn’t work, he’ll at least spend the next seven months having a lot of sex, presumably with whoever this Subject 314 is, because he knows he never had any kind of positive reaction to any of those other shirts they’d put in front of him. He has no idea what she looks like, whether she’d be any fun or even whether she wants a child or would raise it well… But his nose certainly likes her, and as awful as it sounds in his own head, he could always close his eyes and pretend it was someone else if he needed to. Spending what could be the rest of his life before being floated in his single cell, with nothing to break up the monotony, is so much like what he’s already been through. He could do it, yeah, but does he want to when there’s another option?

 

“If a pregnancy comes out of this, what will happen to the baby?”

 

Abby’s eyebrows lift slightly, making him scowl. “I’m sorry, John - I’m surprised that’s your first question, that’s all,” she apologizes. “As far as a potential baby goes, that can be a choice made down the road. You could choose to raise it together, one of you could raise it, or neither of you could participate and I could arrange for the child to be adopted by an already married couple who have been unable to conceive. There are so many people who would want this baby, that would never be an issue.”

 

“I’ll accept the deal but I have a condition.” The expression on his face tells her he’s very serious, and Abby has to work to hide her satisfied reaction. _One down_ , she thinks, _and one more to go_.

 

“Understood. Tell me so I can determine whether it’s possible.”

 

He’s glad she can’t see how white his knuckles are behind his back, giving away his tension. “If the baby is given up for adoption, it has to go to people in Alpha Station that it will resemble, so that it will pass as legitimate. Only Alpha Station.”

 

“That won’t be a problem. I believe that means we have a deal.” Watching him give a curt nod, her guilt at forcing him into this situation lessens. The Sky Box hasn’t ruined everything inside him, at least not yet. He wouldn’t have made that caveat if it had. She’d told him the truth, before. She had always wished that she’d tried harder to save him. It was later than it should have been, but maybe it wouldn’t be too late after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos & comments always appreciated, and hope you like the concept!  
> Yeah, I know - this isn't an update to my S6 WIP "Only Then You'll See" and I promise I'm totally dedicated to that story and I'm working on it! I write best when I write the scene that's most urgent in my head, so I often have more than one story being written at a time.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, the moon gives light and it shines by night  
When I scarcely feel the glow  
We learn to live and then we forgive  
Over the road we're bound to go  
More frailer than the flowers, these precious hours  
That keep us so tightly bound  
You come to my eyes like a vision from the skies  
And I'll be with you when the deal goes down  
~ When The Deal Goes Down, Bob Dylan

 

Raven watches Dr. Abby Griffin warily from the corner of her eye. She still can’t believe this is actually happening. Last night, Abby had told her in explicit detail what those t-shirt tests were really doing, and had revealed that Raven and Subject 228 had scored as a high match on the compatibility tests based on their reactions to each others scents. Raven had been more than just shocked, both at the test results and at the knowledge that life on the Ark was slowing down to an almost standstill. In hindsight, it seemed obvious that there had been less births, but it wasn’t something that Raven had focused on, so she’d never really thought about it. But now, babies were definitely on her mind. She’d had a lot of questions about the entire process, including why she hadn’t gotten a regular period even though her implant had been removed without her knowledge. Abby had explained that a lot of the women had occasional spotting, which medical staff dismissed as normal side effects, but that it could also be due to their nutrition levels rather than a sign of being infertile.

 

Raven still felt angry when she thought about the few occasions that she and Finn had had sex, not knowing about the removal of her implant. She didn’t share with Abby that some of the people she knew on the Ark used illegal, blackmarket trades to get their hands on reusable silicone condoms, and she and Finn had always used one. Maybe she’d tell Abby, at some point, if Raven thought it really might impact the pregnancy issue. But she wasn’t about to get someone in trouble for making them, when so many women were terrified they’d get floated for an unplanned child. Abby had no idea what it was like to be in anything other than Alpha Station, to have the clout of being a doctor from an upper class family, and if Raven decides to tell her about it, it will only come if there are no ramifications for the people involved.

 

Once she’d finished with her questions, Abby had demanded Raven make a choice about the deal right away, but they both knew what it was going to be. To give Abby credit, she’d apologized for it, but the fact remained that Abby had her in two ways. First, Raven found out that she had a mild heart defect that would have prevented her from continuing with her Zero-G clearances, but that when it was first found in her early teens, Abby had gone to Sinclair before putting it into her medical records, and the two of them had chosen to give her a chance. If Raven didn’t agree, Abby could easily put it into her records now, under the guise of a new exam, and that would end her spacewalking days immediately. Sure, there would be other things she could do for Sinclair’s department, and in all honesty, if that was the only thing that Abby could manipulate her with, she might have turned her down, because it seemed like a fitting punishment when spacewalking had been what had gotten Finn in the Sky Box when he’d taken the fall for her.

 

But there was more to it than that, a lot more. Abby had explained that Finn turned twenty-one in two months, a fact at the forefront of Raven’s mind for quite a while. Before Finn had been arrested, his shirt had cycled through some of the women of childbearing age, but he’d never had a match that was compatible enough. Because Abby had secretly kept some of the prisoners in her tests, his scent kept being included even after his arrest, but with such a short amount of time left until his birthday, the chances of him matching and potentially getting anyone pregnant were slight. However, Abby had dangled another possibility in front of Raven, and she’d had to take it. It had been a rough night afterwards, thinking about what she had agreed to do, but not because she had regrets about her choice. No, this was the only way, and accepting the deal had been the only thing she could choose.

 

So now she’s in a small patient room at the very back of the busy Medical Bay. Abby had escorted her here as soon as she’d arrived. It’s actually the size of her bunkroom, but where that space holds four people, this room is only intended for one. The bed is slim, normal instead of one of the adjustable ones in the surgery areas, although it does have a solid headboard. There’s an attached bathroom, also small, but there’s a drain on one side of the floor with a sprayer on the wall above, complete with a curtain that can be drawn across the sink area, which means that the space can double as an actual shower, and that’s a private luxury that Raven has never known. Across from the bed is a communications panel, and Raven assumes it’s one of the nicer ones that some of the old shows and movies can be played on. The best thing about the room though, is the narrow window just above a set of drawers that allows for a view into space. Only rooms in Alpha Station offer a view, so Raven has never been able to lay in bed and look at the stars before. If she turns on her side in this bed, she’ll be able to see out that window, and she looks forward to it more than she’ll say. The last thing in the room is a round table with two chairs, and overall, Raven can admit to herself that it’s certainly quite a few steps up from any space she’s ever slept in.

 

Her gaze flicks back to Abby, who’s standing by the door and looking at some kind of chart in her hands. Raven sits in one of the chairs and uses the table to prop her chin on her hand, eyeing the plates, silverware and cups that are stacked to one side. “Tell me again what our deal is.”

 

Abby looks up, mouth slightly twisted in frustration. “Raven, we’ve been over this. You and well, your male counterpart, I guess - have both agreed. You’re going to try your best to get pregnant, including using anything we think might increase the odds, and in return, I won’t mention anything about your heart, I’ll keep Finn’s scent sample in the mix and will actually push it on every woman we test to increase his chances of a match, _and_ if you get pregnant before Finn turns twenty-one, I will go to Jaha, confess what I’ve done and tell him that I promised you that your reward for participation would be that I’d save Finn. I might run into trouble because of my methods, but I’m prepared for that. Chancellor Jaha would understand that my rule breaking shouldn’t affect you, though, and I’m confident that he would keep my promise even if he didn’t want to.”

 

Raven was a lot more skeptical about that than Abby seemed to be, but Raven had confidence in something else - if Raven could get pregnant before the two months were up, Abby would confess to what she’d done, but Raven would also confess. She’d tell Jaha that it had been _her_ who had done the spacewalking, and that Finn had covered it up and taken the blame. Floating an innocent man wasn’t the Chancellor’s style, even she knew that, and she couldn’t keep the secret anymore. She’d be pregnant at that point, so at the very least, nothing would happen to her until she had the baby. And even then, from what Abby indicated, so few women had gotten pregnant the past few years that having a successful baby might be enough to save her own life, since there was a chance she could do it again. Even if not though, she couldn’t live with Finn’s death on her conscience, so there was no way she could refuse the deal Abby offered her. In fact, it couldn’t have come at a better time.

 

“I know. I just wanted to hear you say it again,” Raven admitted. “I also want you to swear one more time that you ran Finn’s sample in one of my scent tests.”

 

“My god, you’re almost as bad as my own daughter. Yes, I _once again_ swear to you that you smelled his shirt. We actually do a little research around here, you know, figuring that people who have already coupled up on their own might be compatible. When we learned the two of you were dating, of course we tested your scents against each other. But your reactions to Finn’s shirt only measured a joint six.”

 

“A six? What does that mean?”

 

“Well, to simplify, among other things we compare the normal, resting heartbeat and breathing patterns to any spikes or reactions when someone sniffs something they strongly dislike, or preferably, strongly like. And that comparison results in a score from one to twelve. We fed your result to Finn, and Finn’s result to you, into the computer and you got a six as your joint score. Keep in mind that the lowest joint score we’ve seen between a pair that _has_ gotten pregnant is an eight point nine.”

 

Eyebrows pulling together, Raven bites her bottom lip thoughtfully. A six out of twelve wasn’t great, and it wasn’t close to the confirmed pregnancy scores either. She wasn’t sure what that meant for her and Finn, and she didn’t want to think about it. She remembers the way her body had reacted to the scent of Subject 228. Unsure whether it’s a good idea or not, she finds herself blurting out the question anyway. “What score did I get with this guy who’s supposed to knock me up?”

 

“An eleven point six,” Abby says drily. “It’s the second highest score we’ve seen yet. I wouldn’t have pushed for this arrangement if I wasn’t confident it would work.”

 

Raven feels a strange fluttering sensation in her stomach at Abby’s words. Yeah, that was a higher score, alright. It makes her more nervous, knowing that he’ll be here any minute. For the first time she’s suddenly curious about what exactly he’s getting out of this deal. “So, uh, how come this guy agreed to do this?”

 

“You’ll have to ask him that, Raven. I know his incentive, but it’s not my place to tell you about it. Besides, I have no idea what his reasons for taking it are, even though he did agree. And before you ask, no, I did not tell him what your deal is.”

 

That’s why it was hard to hate Abby, Raven figured, because even though she wasn’t afraid to break the rules, she took her commitments seriously. Trying to get more information out of her would be useless, and it was both admirable and infuriating. She looks down at the small bag at her feet. They were waiting for her ‘male counterpart’ to arrive, and there was no reason not to be productive. She gets up and takes the bag over to the dresser, unloading the few clothes that she’d been told to bring along. Her back is still to the door when she hears Abby address someone.

 

“Good, you’re here. Let’s shut this door and I’ll give you both the rundown. I’ve got to get going to check on a few patients. Raven Reyes, this is John Murphy. John Murphy, this is Raven Reyes. I’m hoping the two of you won’t kill each other over the next few days.”

 

She spins around so quickly she feels dizzy, and she openly stares at the fair-skinned, dark-haired male who walks through the door while Abby speaks. He’s younger than she thought he’d be, although she doesn’t know why she expected someone older. He looks to be about her age, probably taller than she is based on his height next to Abby, and he has nice blue eyes, which regard her just as cautiously as she watches him. Neither of them say anything, but he gives a slight lift of his chin in acknowledgement when Abby mentions her name.

 

Abby clears her throat, interrupting the stalemate between them, and Raven reluctantly tears her gaze away as Abby points out the features of the room to the new occupant. She only vaguely pays attention, inexplicably feeling like her throat is dry and there’s a strange humming sound in her ears.

 

“... and like I told Raven, there are call numbers for my room, my office, the Med Bay, and also Jackson’s room over at the communications panel. Do not use them unless there is an emergency. Do not speak to anyone other than myself or Jackson. I’ve managed to get you both here under the radar for a few days so you can get to know one another. Jackson and I will check on you a few times each day when we bring food. There’s cups here and in the bathroom there’s a separate nozzle by the sink that has filtered water you can drink. The rooms back here are rarely used, but you’ll still need to keep quiet, especially during the day.” Abby taps her fingers like she’s checking things off of a mental list. “Oh, yes. In the bottom drawer of the dresser, there are extra blankets, two pairs of headphones that can be plugged in to the console so you can either both listen to the same thing, or one can have the viewer and the other can play music. Towels in the bathroom - please just keep reusing them as much as you can. If the washcloths get dirty, you can drop them in the chute there, but sparingly, please, since we don’t want them noticed. Lastly, I know this is all strange and uncomfortable, but try to use this time to get yourself at least on friendly terms. After this, I don’t know how often we’ll be able to get an extended stay. Do you have any questions?”

 

Finishing her long explanation, Abby looks at both of the young adults expectantly. Neither of them speak, although Raven shakes her head. “Alright. You’ve had breakfast already, so one of us will be by later with lunch. I will be locking you inside, which is less about keeping you in and more about keeping others out. John, you need to tell Raven why it’s so important you aren’t caught, and Raven - you need to tell him about your deadline. Both of you, make an attempt here, for all our sakes, please.” With that, Abby turns and exits the room, pulling the door closed behind her. Raven can hear the key slide into the lock a moment later, though how she notices it over the thudding of her heart seems impossible.

 

There’s awkward silence left in her wake, both of them refusing to look at the other and the tension building. Finally, Raven can’t take it any longer. “I guess Abby’s better at keeping her own secrets rather than someone else’s.”

 

He looks up at her at that, and she feels the full weight of his fierce stare again. His eyes are guarded, wary, probably the same as hers. It might not be a bad thing, Abby forcing their hands - Raven has the thought that if it were left between the two of them, neither story would end up being revealed, at least for quite a while.

 

“I don’t recognize you from anywhere,” Raven tries again, not knowing how this is going to go if _she’s_ supposed to be the talkative one.

 

“No, I guess you wouldn’t.” He walks over to the table and sits down in the chair opposite the one she’d inhabited, stretching his legs out across the floor. His arms are crossed over his torso, and while Raven might not be that great with people, it’s easy to read his reluctant body language. Well, it’s not like she’s that different, so she goes to join him at the table with an audible sigh.

 

“Look, I don’t know why you’re here and vice versa, but I can assume you’re getting something out of this just like I am. But Abby’s right - I’m on a deadline and it’s better if you know about it. Before we dive into the dirty little details, can we just be polite for a few minutes? I’m Raven, I’m twenty-one, and I’m one of the Zero-G mechanics. I like fixing things around the Ark, and in hindsight, I’m kind of pissed off that I didn’t realize the birth rates had dropped so sharply. Seems pretty apparent, now that I know to look for it.”

 

Shoulders relaxing just the slightest bit, he reluctantly volunteers something of his own. “You should just call me Murphy, mostly everyone does. I’m twenty, and the reason why you don’t recognize me is because I’ve been in the Sky Box for a while. I had no idea about the lack of kids being born, but then, I wouldn’t have been around to see it for myself.”

 

She’s not particularly alarmed to hear it, figuring that was why she hadn’t seen his face in the public spaces she frequented. The Ark was big, but not so big she wouldn’t have taken notice of a male her age, and if she’s honest with herself, she would have definitely noticed him. “I don’t even remember your name from being kids in school, though. How long have you been in there?”

 

Shrugging, he looks past her at the wall when he answers. “I got arrested around twelve, and wasn’t much going to school a year or so before that.”

 

This time she is shocked, and she hopes her face isn’t showing it. Eight years in Sky Box, sent in at such a young age… it’s tough for her mind to wrap around it. What could he have possibly done to deserve all those years in jail and then ultimately death? He went to the Sky Box around the time she’d started her apprenticeship with Mecha Station. She’d had no time for anything then but what she was learning, and it was a fact that she’d blocked out a lot of her memories that dealt with her childhood due to her mother, so maybe that explained why his name wasn’t familiar to her. She hadn’t really made many friends outside Finn, anyway. It was likely Finn knew him from school, though, since he’d also been a year behind her, and she wondered if they’d ever been friends. Raven’s fingers twist together in her lap as she’s reminded how much she hates the society they’ve been brought up in. And it occurs to her that if he’s twenty, like Finn, then maybe she knows what he’s getting out of this after all. “How long til you’re twenty-one?”

 

Blue eyes flicker to hers again, though this time they stay and she can read the frustration in them. “About seven months.”

 

Longer than Finn, then. She doesn’t know Murphy, has no idea what kind of character he has or whether he’s someone she’ll grow to like, but there’s a sense of relief that runs through her all the same, that there’s a decent chance she’ll get pregnant before he turns twenty-one and he probably won’t get floated because of it. If he had killed someone at twelve, that gossip would have reached her ears no matter what, and since it didn’t, she’s inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt now that she’s so familiar with what the Ark does with its power. And anyway, he’d already spent plenty of time in isolation, paying for whatever he did.

 

“So I guess what Abby meant when she said that you can’t get caught in here is that you’re supposed to be in the Sky Box and if you’re found, not just you but whoever brought you here and Abby herself will be in trouble.”

 

“Yep, that sums it up.”

 

“Well, I have no interest in getting you caught. Besides you and me having to fulfill this bargain in order to get what we each want, I believe Abby when she says she’s been helping other people who’ve gotten pregnant. Somebody else in charge of Medical might not do that, might want people floated instead, so I don’t want her punished. And I believe she’s telling the truth when she says she’ll go up against Jaha to get us what she’s promised in exchange for this. Are we on the same page on that, or are you holding some grudge about being in this situation to begin with?”

 

Murphy looks at her in surprise, but she figures there’s no point in dancing around. She doesn’t want Abby in trouble for this, and if her so-called partner in this deal is going to work against her, then she wants to know about it.

 

“Not that it’s any of your business, but no, I’m not looking to get Abby in trouble. Or the guard who’ll likely be the one bringing me here all the time. But I won’t make any promises about other people at this early stage.”

 

Raven nods in agreement. “I can live with that.” And now that things feel a little more sturdy under her feet, she gives in to the urge she’s had since he walked in the door, and takes a quiet, deep sniff, wondering if she’s going to be able to smell him from across the table. She tells herself it’s not disappointment she feels when the only scent she gets is the slightly medicinal tang from the room.

 

“So what’s your deadline then?”

 

Startled, she looks up abruptly, worried he might have caught on to what she’s doing. “Oh! Uh, my deadline… Someone I know is in the Sky Box, and it’s not long before he turns twenty-one. You can guess the rest.”

 

“Boyfriend,” he smirks knowingly.

 

A frown creases her forehead at the assumption and the way he says it, like she’s so easy to figure out. “Finn’s more than that. We grew up together, and his parents took me in sometimes when things got…” She trails off, not wanting to say more. “They’re devastated by this and I’m going to fix it.”

 

His tone is gentler this time, but there’s something in it she can’t read. “How long?”

 

“Two months.” Now there’s no missing the doubt that flashes through his eyes, and it irritates her. She’s not giving up, regardless of what he thinks. “Whatever. I have to try, and that means you have to try, too, since we’re stuck in this mess together.”

 

“You make it all sound so simple.”

 

Raven raises her eyebrow. “Isn’t it?”

 

“Let’s see.” At that he slowly grabs the hem of his faded gray shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it on the table between them. “Should we just get to it then?”

 

Not knowing who she’s more annoyed at - herself for blushing or him for goading her - she pulls herself together enough to flick her eyes over his bare chest, forcibly injecting a tone of disinterest into her voice. “Wow, you really know how to get the ladies going, don’t you?”

 

To her astonishment, he laughs at her mockery, and genuinely, too. “I don’t profess to know much of anything, but I do know you and me have a lot more to talk about before we tear each other’s clothes off. And that makes things far from simple.”

 

The suggestion of clothes being torn off while he’s already half-undressed unsettles her enough that she gets up from the table, but it’s the thought of the conversations they still need to have that make her retreat over to the dresser where she has more things to unpack from her bag. She knows he’ll view it as a point for him, and it is, damn it, but she _was_ trying to make this simple, and the reminder that it isn’t makes her ache in both her head and her heart. Stiffening her spine, she risks looking over her shoulder. Instead of the self-satisfied grin she expected, she catches the almost regretful look he’s sending her. “I’ll leave the top drawer for your things.”

 

He lets her get away with the change of subject as he walks over to the communications screen and pushes some of the buttons. “This place is like a fancy hotel compared to the Sky Box. I’m going to put on a movie if you want to listen.”

 

She tosses him a set of the corded earpieces from the dresser, taking a few deep breaths as she repeats the mental reminder that his shirt being off is _not_ a big deal, and then plugs in her own set as she goes back to the table. They watch the movie in silence, their time together slowly ticking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I am so happy I get to play with these characters and there's other people besides me who love them too.


	3. Chapter 3

Well, the moon gives light and it shines by night  
When I scarcely feel the glow  
We learn to live and then we forgive  
Over the road we're bound to go  
More frailer than the flowers, these precious hours  
That keep us so tightly bound  
You come to my eyes like a vision from the skies  
And I'll be with you when the deal goes down  
~ When The Deal Goes Down, Bob Dylan

 

Murphy lays back on the bed, head turned to look out the window into the darkness of space as he tries to comprehend the day he’s just had. He left the light on for Raven in the small bathroom after he’d finished brushing his teeth, and he didn’t expect she’d take too long before coming back out. He’s both looking forward to and dreading her climbing onto the narrow mattress with him.

 

Even if he’d had longer to consider what Subject 314 was really like, he never would have come up with the real version of her. From the moment he’d walked in the door of their room, she’d exceeded everything he’d imagined. He’s still thanking whatever deity there might be that his mouth didn’t fall open when he’d gotten his first look at her. It was a cosmic joke, maybe, that even karma had decided he’d gotten a really bad deal in life and at the last minute, had offered up something of a dream girl to sort of balance the scales back out again. And the punchline was that not only would he take it, but it even sort of made the rest of it all worthwhile.

 

She wasn’t just fabulous to look at though, as he remembered how she’d taken charge of their conversation in the beginning. Raven was straightforward and shrewd, but he’d still managed to find a few vulnerable spots based on how he’d gotten the upper hand when he’d challenged her. Taking his shirt off had been just a spur of the moment thing, but he’d been annoyed - and yeah, maybe impressed too - at how uncomplicated she had been making their situation sound, and he’d wanted to see if he could rattle her. It had worked, and he’d liked that he could have an affect on her. And as unreasonable as it was, he’d also felt a prickle of envy when she’d talked about Finn and that she was doing this to save him. He knew who Finn was, hard not to know who everyone was in the Sky Box, really, and they had been in the same year together before Murphy had stopped showing up to school and then gotten arrested. He was an okay guy, not someone Murphy had ever particularly liked or disliked, but knowing that’s who Raven was with… Well, now there might be some irrational jealousy there. Finn had no idea how lucky he was that someone was working on the outside to save his skin, and besides Raven, who was more than enough on her own, it sounded like he had two parents who gave a shit as well. Actually, maybe the resentment was justifiable.

 

It had been a weird day, overall. They’d settled in to watch a movie, had lunch, watched a few more things, had dinner and were both probably emotionally drained and tense enough to fall asleep early. They hadn’t talked in-depth again after getting a few things out in the open, but Murphy had felt her eyes on him and his bare chest throughout the afternoon, since he hadn’t bothered to put his shirt back on, and it had made him jumpy. A lot of his time in the Sky Box was spent alone in his cell, and it had been strange sitting with someone else, even if they weren’t talking. He was too aware of her presence, partly because it was a novel experience and partly because he was so attracted to her. His body had been jittery with nervous energy all day, and he wondered if she’d picked up on it.

 

Turned towards the window as he was, there was no missing Raven when she came out of the bathroom, and it was only through force of will that his leg didn’t start twitching again, considering what she was wearing. Or not wearing, either way. He was only in his underwear too, but he didn’t look like _that_ in it, and how the hell he was going to keep his hands off her, he didn’t know. She wore a pair of tiny fitted shorts that made his eyes go right to the rounded swell of her ass, and a tank top that did nothing to hide the shape of her breasts or the outline of her nipples.

 

Refusing to meet his eyes, she pushes her folded clothes into her drawer and turns back to the bed, gesturing to the side closest to the window.

 

“Do you mind if I take this side? I want to look out the window.”

 

Murphy weighs whether it’s truly possible for people to grit their teeth down to nothing, because he’s pretty sure that might be the only thing to get him through the long night ahead. Maybe he could’ve offered to sleep on the floor, but the whole reason they’re in this room is to have sex, and even the Sky Box provides them all with a mattress. No point in delaying the inevitable, really. He flicks the blanket down and scoots backwards, pushing himself onto his left side in the process. “The only way we’re both going to fit is on our sides.”

 

She nods, carefully climbing under the covers, her back to him so she can face the window. With the bathroom light off, the room is dark except for the faint light from the stars, and Murphy props his elbow under his head so he can lift a little higher than her to see the view. There’s no windows in the Sky Box, except for the one small one in the group activity room, but it’s crossed with bars and Murphy has always had a hard time looking at it, because of what it represents. But this is different. The view here is unobstructed and it makes space feel less smothering, more inviting than it typically feels to him.

 

As Raven adjusts her body and they both try to get comfortable, he thinks being in the same bed should feel like nothing, considering they both know they’ve signed up for being far more intimate by the time things are through, but this navigation of shared space feels profound, especially since he’s never done it before. He’s had sex, but it’s always been a quick, secret sort of thing out of view from the guards, and he’s never slept next to anyone else. There’s maybe two inches between them, and he can feel the heat of her body radiating into his bare chest. He’s not sure where to put his right arm, since there’s not enough space to lay it anywhere without touching her, so he leaves it against his hip even though it’s not especially comfortable.

 

It might be a half hour, it could even be an hour later, and they’re both still frozen in the same spot, rigid and unmoving. But he’s attuned to every little movement, so it’s easy to pick up on it when she takes a deep breath. He doesn’t expect her whispered voice that follows it though.

 

“Ask me what you want to know.”

 

Maybe the darkness makes it easier, or maybe it’s because they’re not looking at each other, but he doesn’t have to struggle to put the words together once she gives him permission. “If this goes like it’s supposed to, there’s going to be a baby at the end of it. Have you decided how you want that to turn out?”

 

Raven definitely stiffens at the question. “I haven’t thought about it that much.”

 

“Try again. I know that’s not the truth.”

 

“Oh, and how would you know? I only just found out about this whole situation something like twenty-four hours ago.”

 

“So? You’re the kind of person who would have run all the scenarios through your head as soon as you could. Go ahead, tell me I’m wrong about that.” He’s not wrong, he knows it. She’s accomplished and intelligent enough to get a job with Mecha Station and he may be just a criminal who left school far too early for his own good, but she’s clearly the kind of personality type who makes a plan. It’s one thing for her to not want to share that plan with him, but there’s no way he’s gonna believe she doesn’t have one mapped out in her head.

 

She doesn’t deny it and he likes that, likes that she doesn’t try to fool him again and that his impression of her is correct. He also likes that the longer they lay together, the more he gets that hint of her scent drifting around him, although it doesn’t do anything to relax him. The opposite, in fact.  

 

“Fine. I’ve thought about it,” she grudgingly admits, “but I can’t give you an answer if I don’t have one myself.”

 

“You don’t have one scenario you lean more towards than the others? Really?”

 

“God! They put you in the Sky Box because you nagged everyone to death, didn’t they?”

 

“Possibly. Is it working on you?”

 

“I guess you’re going to think so, if I answer you.” She tugs at the top of the blanket, and he can see her fingers are trembling as she seems to consider her words before eventually speaking again. “Maybe the best thing would be the adoption possibility that Abby mentioned.”

 

There’s no reason he should feel disappointed by her response - they’ve just met, there’s nothing to suggest they’re fit to raise a child or even consider it. He doesn’t even know if that’s what _he_ wants, and it’s ridiculous to put any kind of expectation on _her_. Still, the flare of bitterness erupts in his stomach. He swallows it down. “If Abby’s right, if the only people getting pregnant are the ones who are compatible on this test, then you and I might be each other’s only chance at having any children.” It’s not a question, he’s not even sure why he’s said it at first, but when her fingers on the blanket tighten their grip, he understands his motive was to get a reaction.

 

“I know,” she replies softly, and then he feels like a jerk, like he’s pushed too hard in reminding her of the various ramifications hanging over them. Of course it’s unfair of him to want her to have answers when he doesn’t himself, but it’s all more confusing than he thought it would be now that he’s seen her and spent some time with her as a person rather than just a concept. He’s not used to regretting his actions, rarely even questions his impulse to lash out anymore. If he was a better version of himself, he’d apologize to her somehow, but already he can feel the lump in his throat that words will never get past. He decides it’s going to have to be enough that he just doesn’t ask anything more, even though he still has plenty of questions. Murphy wishes he could roll to his back, distance himself a bit more from her, but there’s nowhere to go, so he stares at the thin strap across her shoulder in the starlight, knowing that despite his penchant for taking things too far, he’s already glad he accepted the deal.

 

***

 

Murphy watches Raven as she reads over a message on the datapad that Jackson brought in along with their breakfast. He doesn’t know what it says yet, but whatever is typed there is bringing an appealing red blush over her cheeks. Waking up first this morning, he had almost twenty minutes of being in the bed with her before she started to stir. He didn’t think either of them were well-rested, but in sleep his body had at least lost its rigidity, because when his eyes opened, his nose had been tucked against the back of her neck with his arm slung over her hip. For her part, her legs had twined with his and her slightly chilled feet were pressed along his own. The feel of her bare skin against his chest had been something he hadn’t known he would like so much, and it had been tougher than he expected to get out of bed when he’d felt her first begin to wake. He’d grabbed some clothes from his drawer and gotten into the bathroom before she could notice that he was hard.

 

She’d been dressed when he came out, and not long after, Jackson had opened the door with their food. They’d eaten, exchanging just a few words, and he’d scraped their plates and rinsed them in the bathroom sink. He was waiting to see if she said something about what she was reading, but so far Raven had kept silent. Deciding to wait her out a little, he turns on the console and plugs in one of the headsets, letting out the cord so he can flop on the unmade bed and watch in a more relaxed way than the hard chair. She gives him a look of disapproval from over the top of the datapad when he adds her pillow to the pile behind his head, but she doesn’t say anything, her eyes going back to the screen. The pillow smells faintly like she does, and he reflects wonderingly how this whole situation started because each of them apparently is attracted to the way the other _smells._ He can’t deny it’s true, though - just the trace scent of her has him wanting to turn his nose closer, but he resists the urge and tries to concentrate on the random movie he’s chosen. Maybe it would just be best to keep his mouth shut and let her make the next move.

 

***

 

Raven puts the datapad down carefully on the table, wishing she could just toss it over her shoulder onto the floor instead. Abby had left her a note stating that because Raven’s ovulation cycle wasn’t made obvious with a monthly period, frequent sex throughout the month was the best option for getting pregnant quickly. In addition, Abby had flagged quite a few older articles about fertility and ways to increase the chances of getting pregnant. There wasn’t much pregnancy research done on The Ark other than the genetic issues Abby was studying that might correlate with people _not_ having babies, so all the past data from Earth was going to have to suffice. And it really shouldn’t have been embarrassing to read the various scientific approaches and factual data, but there were a lot of speculative pieces about how female orgasm might affect fertility by increasing sperm flow through the fallopian tubes that had her squirming a bit in her seat. Not to mention the discussion where some research studies showed that longer foreplay and a higher level of sexual arousal before ejaculation were shown to increase sperm counts. Apparently, taking the time to bring a woman to orgasm might improve semen parameters, and Abby had added a suggestion that Murphy should refrain from masturbating on the chance that it would lower his sperm count. But the study on cunnilingus before intercourse and how that increased the volume of semen in males really took the cake as far as her blushing went.

 

The note from Abby also included that she wanted both of them to read the recommendations, and it was bad enough that Raven now had all the images in her own head. Despite knowing that she and Murphy were going to have sex at some point, reading about arousal and orgasm while he was just a few feet from her in the bed that they had shared the night before had been disquieting, to say the least. But it had also been turning her on and she was annoyed with herself over it.

 

Sleeping in the same bed together had been a bigger deal than she expected it to be. She’d never gotten into a bed with anyone before, as rooms and sleeping accommodations were tightly regulated on the Ark. Children stopped staying with their families as soon as they turned thirteen and moved into same-gender, shared bunk rooms with other apprentices in their field instead, and depending on the need for family spaces, parents were moved to smaller quarters at that time as well. The few occasions she and Finn had managed to steal away together had never been in the privacy of either of their bunk rooms, and in fact had often just been opportunistic moments that hadn’t given them much freedom. Certainly they had never gotten hours together to just sleep. So she’d tried to project an aura of nonchalance about it when she’d climbed in beside Murphy, but internally her heart had been pounding. Part of it was the newness of the experience, but far bigger was the knowledge that in the very near future, they were going to be intimate with each other. If she was candid about it, that both excited and confused her.

 

The excited part was easy to figure out. She was attracted to Murphy and if he had been in the general population on the Ark, she would have definitely noticed him. She’d felt a wave of relief when she first saw him standing next to Abby, and she’d known the actual sex wasn’t going to be a problem. It would have sucked if the intense attraction to his scent hadn’t resulted in an attraction to him physically, but that was clearly not going to be an issue. The combination of the incredibly enticing way he smelled and how he’d spent a portion of their first day and night together without a shirt on - well, it was a wonder she hadn’t pounced on him as he slept. The confusing aspects were what stopped her, what was _still_ making her stall the unavoidable bargain they’d made. It wasn’t just that she didn’t know what was going to happen once she got pregnant, even though a pregnancy itself wasn’t a guarantee. But for her part, she didn’t really question _if_ it would happen so much as _when_ it would happen. Abby was smart, and she’d said herself that she was confident this would work. Raven didn’t doubt her. But Raven did have doubts about what she should tell Murphy in regards to her own plans, and she was also feeling guilty about what this meant for her and Finn.

 

It had been about two years since Finn had been put into the Sky Box. He’d refused her demands to turn herself in, saying that not only was he younger and it would buy him more time, but that it had been his idea to begin with. Technically those things were both true, but it still didn’t sit well with Raven. Finn had also told her he didn’t want her near the Sky Box, so only his parents had visited since his so-called trial. He’d said that seeing him locked up would only result in her entertaining too many crazy plans to get him out, but that he’d also wanted her safe so she could look out for his family. So she hadn’t seen him in all this time, because Finn knew just what he was doing when he’d brought up his mom and dad. They hadn’t had much, but they had always been kind to Raven, and if anything was going to stop her from doing something she shouldn’t, it would be the thought of abandoning them now that Finn couldn’t help out. Part of her monthly credits from her job with Mecha Station were routed to their account so they could get a few more rations, although she suspected that they used them to get Finn things he could trade inside the Sky Box. Either way, it was the right thing to do, and Raven had meant it when she told Murphy that she wanted to get Finn out for his parents.

 

Of course, she wanted him out for herself too, because Finn had been her closest friend for years and she missed him. But somewhere in those two years and odd months she had stopped referring to him as her boyfriend inside her head. Things had shifted after he’d been arrested and she had weighed the possibility that she and Finn had mostly gotten together because of their familiarity rather than serious interest on either of their parts. She loved him, she did, and it wasn’t like she’d been actively looking for any kind of replacement for him, but it had occurred to her that maybe she didn’t miss him in the way she was supposed to, in the way that people in love with each other were supposed to feel. It hadn’t been something she was proud of, but Raven had always been a realist, and as time passed without seeing Finn, it was easier to look back and see that she had _wanted_ things to work between them, but that it hadn’t ever been like the ardent feelings the other young women in her shared room described with so much lascivious detail.

 

 _Maybe I’m just not capable of that,_ Raven had thought, _maybe being in love was for other people and not me._ It wasn’t a horrible thought, really, more that she felt ashamed that she had perhaps misled Finn without even being aware of it. There _was_ love between them, and she couldn’t regret having sex with him, but one night while she was having dinner with Finn’s parents, and they’d all laughed over a story she’d regaled them with, it had flashed through her mind that there was a distinct possibility that she’d wanted things to work with Finn because she wanted his parents to be hers, too. And once the thought had come, she could never push it out again, because she knew there was truth in it.

 

And then this whole situation that had practically appeared out of thin air had her questioning everything again, instead of keeping it locked in the back of her mind where she had tried to keep it. Maybe Finn would view it differently, but to her it didn’t feel like she’d be cheating since she didn’t consider him as her boyfriend any longer. She hadn’t gotten a chance to tell him all that however, and for all she knew, he was still missing her in a romantic way even though she didn’t reciprocate. And that’s where some guilt trickled in when she thought about having sex with Murphy, even if she had agreed to it initially in order to try and benefit Finn. Admittedly, now that she’s seen him though… She’s not exactly martyring herself for Finn’s sake if she actively wants this to happen, is she? It’s confusing because she’s doing this to save Finn, she wants to succeed in getting pregnant if it means getting Finn pardoned, but she also wants to have sex with Murphy because she _wants_ to. It should be a win-win, but Raven wonders if maybe she should be concerned about her questionable morals in this situation.

 

It’s a lot to think about, and as Raven looks over at Murphy carelessly lounging on the bed, she decides he might have the right idea. She grabs the other headphones off the table next to her and gets up to plug them into the console. She can’t quite bring herself to squeeze in next to Murphy, so she sits back down in the uncomfortable chair and puts her feet up on the other one. They should talk, of course they should, but Raven doesn’t even know where she should start. The movie is already well begun, but she doesn’t mind. It’s a distraction she’s looking for and it’ll have to do.

 

***

 

He’s so restless he can barely stand it. In the Sky Box, almost everything is a known quantity. Murphy’s aware of the schedule there, aware of how long he’ll be in his cell and when it’s time to leave it. When he’s alone, he might exercise if he feels fidgety, but being in the same room with Raven is a completely different experience. They might both have plenty of reasons to be anxious, but all this excess nervous energy is driving him crazy. The day has passed by slowly, mostly spent mindlessly watching old movies, and they finished their dinner about an hour ago. There’s still time to fill before bed, and it’s strange that when he finally has someone to keep him company, he can’t come up with conversation. It would be easier if there wasn’t so much unsaid and unasked between them, but he doesn’t want to put her in a bad mood by bringing up the proverbial elephant in the room, even if he wants to pick it apart and thinks they actually _need_ to talk about their situation in order to move on to the actual sex part.

 

She hasn’t brought up whatever she read on the datapad earlier, but he’s caught her a few times as she’s looked over at him, and twice she opened her mouth as though she was going to speak, but then abruptly closed it and turned away. He would have laughed if he hadn’t been so tightly wound himself. Laying on the bed most of the day was infinitely more comfortable than the chairs, but her scent on the damned pillow wasn’t doing him any favors since it only served to frustrate him when he was trying to relax. The deadline looms large in his thoughts, so he’s sure it must be even bigger in her head since her timeline is shorter. They shouldn’t waste the time that they have here, he knows that, and he’s about to jump up and just start pacing when she beats him to it. Raven stands abruptly from the table as the most recent mindless movie choice comes to an end, and she stalks over to the drawers under the window, yanking hers open and rummaging around.

 

“I’m going to take a shower unless you need the bathroom.” She doesn’t turn to look at him, just pauses while she waits for his answer.

 

“Nah, I’m good, thanks.”

 

He watches her disappear into the small room and gives it a few minutes to make sure she doesn’t come back out again before he gets up from the bed to go pick up the datapad Raven abandoned. He hears the water turn on in the bathroom and settles into a chair to see what had taken up her attention for so long. The note that Abby had left is still on it, asking them both to read the information, and a slow grin slides across his face as he reads her comments about him refraining from masturbation and the other various suggestions about increasing fertility. It was no wonder he’d noticed Raven blushing, but the words were having a very different effect on his own body. There’s no question he wants her, wants to put his hands all over her and find out what she tastes like, and the images that the language in these articles is conjuring only serves to make him want her more. Their reactions to each others scents might have begun this ridiculous deal, but there was something about Raven that would have attracted him no matter what, and he hadn’t needed to be around her very long to figure that out.

 

Murphy looks up from the screen, staring at the solid wall between them. The sound of the shower water hitting the tile floor filters through the door and his mind starts to race. It’s not the brightest idea he’s ever had, but he can’t think of a good reason to talk himself out of the decision as he takes off his shirt and pants and drapes them over the foot of the bed. He strips out of the remainder of his clothes, leaving everything in a pile, and when he quietly tests the bathroom door and finds it unlocked, he thinks maybe just getting it over with is what they both need after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Less than 2 weeks now til S6, can you believe it? And there's another trailer, although it doesn't add too much to what the first one showed. On that second one though, my eyes got big and worried over the thought of something happening to Diyoza! Noooooo!!!!! 
> 
> Hope everyone has a nice Easter if you celebrate that kind of thing! 🌷🌷🌷


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this chapter finished for a while, but every time I read over it in preparation for uploading, it felt like something was still missing. I know it was probably annoying to readers to not get an update, but after sitting with it a few more days, I realized what to do and I think it flows better now. Mostly I added more smut, so you know, that's really not a bad thing, right?!  
> 

 

Well, the moon gives light and it shines by night  
When I scarcely feel the glow  
We learn to live and then we forgive  
Over the road we're bound to go  
More frailer than the flowers, these precious hours  
That keep us so tightly bound  
You come to my eyes like a vision from the skies  
And I'll be with you when the deal goes down  
~ When The Deal Goes Down, Bob Dylan

 

 

Raven had been interested in trying out the shower since she’d seen it, but it was more the heavy burden of her thoughts that had her running to it as an escape. She could almost hear a timer resolutely counting down inside her head, unable to find a diversion in the mindless entertainment of a movie like she’d hoped. The sensible thing would have just been to blurt out her thoughts, laying them down like cards on the table, and see if the two of them could come to some kind of mutually acceptable agreement over what would happen next. Logically, she _knew_ that, she did. Opening her mouth and actually saying it all was much harder than it sounded, however, especially because Murphy just set her so much on edge. The combined effects of the attraction she felt towards him, the inescapable truth that she was deliberately going to try and get pregnant and they were going to have sex very soon, the uncertainty of what should happen to the baby that was bound to result from it, and the worry that she might die because she was going to get floated in place of Finn… it was all too much and the bathroom was the only escape she had available.

 

Everything had seemed so clear when Abby had presented her with the information and told her to decide. Of course she was going to try to save Finn - it hadn’t required much contemplation at all to make that choice. It was complicated, absolutely, but why was it so hard to tell Murphy about her plan? They were in this mess together, true, and she’d spent the night in a pretty intimate position with him, but essentially, he was a stranger to her and it shouldn’t matter what he thinks about how she’s going to proceed. Raven sighs, adjusting the water to run a little warmer. It shouldn’t matter, but she knows that it does. He’s going to be the father of this baby, and he gets to have a say, and it isn’t as though she doesn’t want him to share his opinion. In fact, she really wants to know what _he_ thinks they should do with the baby. But in order to find out, she’s going to have to confess that there’s a high probability she’s going to die and won’t be around to be any kind of mother, and the thought of saying that out loud makes her eyes sting.

 

Wiping her eyes hastily, she stands further under the weak spray, careful to keep her hair from getting wet but allowing the hot water to help ease her mind in ways the movie could not. Two bars of soap had been left in one of the bathroom cabinets for them, and Raven had grabbed one before she’d pulled the thin curtain across the rod it hung from, dividing the small space into two parts. As she ran it up and down her arms, she wondered if it had a stronger, more fragrant smell because it was a medicinal soap or because Med Bay was run primarily by Alpha Station. _It would be just like the Ark to give better soap to the higher class citizens_ , Raven scoffed, and she opted right then to take whatever was left with her when she had to go back to her bunk room. Maybe she’d give Murphy one if he could keep it for himself rather than have to turn it over in the Sky Box, so she made a mental note to ask him. She was in the process of scrubbing her chest and trying to keep her mind shut off when the unexpected sound of Murphy’s voice, much closer than it should have been, startles her into a panicked jump.

 

“I can’t take any more of this awkward bullshit!”

 

A large, pale hand grasps the side of the curtain and roughly tugs it aside, and Murphy is suddenly crowding in next to her, his gaze locked on her own shock-widened eyes. Before she can utter an astonished word, he grabs her chin and tilts her face up as he moves closer, getting between her and the spray of water.

 

“Be pissed if you need to, but we both already agreed to this,” he asserts, and then his lips are on hers, and anything Raven might have spit out at him is put aside with the spark that ignites within her at the impetuous kiss. Her heart thuds in her chest as she senses his suppressed frustration in the way his mouth slides over hers, and it takes her less than a second to decide that while she could get angry that he barged in on her, he makes a valid point and accepting that he took the initiative for both of them is probably her best option. And it only helps to convince her when his tongue teases her lips open, stoking the arousal that still lingers from reading Abby’s instructions. Murphy kisses her differently than Finn, his lips insistent and bold and almost demanding against her own, and while a part of her wants to shove him backwards and give him a piece of her mind about how presumptuous he’s being, a much bigger part of her is thoroughly turned on by it.

 

His hand moves from her chin to her jaw to keep her in place even though she’s decided she’s definitely not going anywhere, and when she concedes to his touch by putting her own arms around his neck as she leans up and wildly kisses him back, his other hand seeks out her hip and pulls her closer. Her wet, sudsy breasts squeeze against his naked chest, his cock pressed up between them. Raven has never felt anything like it, the way their skin slips together because of the soap. She moans into his mouth, pushing the hard points of her nipples into his chest, liking the friction she gets when she rubs herself back and forth along his body. He likes it too, if the way he nips at her bottom lip and tangles his fingers into the hair piled at the back of her neck are any indication.

 

The more they kiss, the more Raven’s senses feel simultaneously dulled and heightened, only able to focus on Murphy and the way he was making her body respond, everything else fading into the background. Everywhere his hands touch, her hips, her back, her neck, her face, it all feels hot and sensitized from just the slightest pressure, and when his lips break away from hers to suck down her neck, she gasps and tilts her head so he can have better access, her fingernails flexing into the muscles at the top of his back in reaction. She forgot she still clutches the bar of soap, and she lets her left hand drift down his shoulder, leaving a trail of lather behind as she goes. She pushes both palms through the small bubbles, soaping his nipples and over his chest before diving down to glide along his abs. His teeth sink just shy of painfully into her earlobe at the motion, and the accompanying rumble deep in his throat sends a bolt of heat straight to her belly as he releases the snug grip on her hip to take the soap from her. He holds it in his own palm, adding water from the spray before smearing it across the tops of her breasts, making her shiver from the delicious sensitivity it leaves behind.

 

Murphy’s lips capture hers again, his tongue insistently filling her mouth while both of his hands caress her slippery breasts, his thumbs flicking over her pebbled nipples as her knees go weak. She clutches at his biceps, holding herself up until he wraps one arm around her waist and hauls her back against him, his other hand curling around to lather the curves of her ass. Raven takes advantage of the way he bears her weight and dips her soapy right hand between them to smooth over the heavy fullness of his cock, sweeping down to cup his balls gently before creeping back up to stroke over the hard length again. The moment she touches him so intimately, Murphy’s grasp on her tightens, a strangled groan vibrating through him and he doesn't let her explore much farther before he abruptly spins her around, his dick now urgently rubbing between her ass cheeks as his teeth graze over her ear and along her jawline.

 

“Rinse off,” he demands, twisting them both so the spray of the shower hits her front, his hands helping to brush the soap away from her shoulders and breasts, smoothing down her stomach and teasing along her thighs until the water runs clear. His chest is sudsy against her back as the warm water pours down her body, and Raven has the fleeting thought that private showers have more than lived up to her expectations as she relaxes against him.

 

His wet hands roam everywhere he can reach while she leans back, and he nudges a foot along the inside of hers to widen her stance, her legs spreading further as he splays his large hand over her sex, fingers slowly exploring how wet he’s made her. He starts to massage her in a steady rhythm, randomly swiping over her clit and anchoring her to him with his left arm just under her breasts, and Raven drops her head back against his shoulder and closes her eyes, overtaken by the heady sensations stirring low in her belly and unable to do anything except rock her hips against his slick hand.

 

The scratchy feel of his stubble grazes along her temple as he ducks his head closer to murmur in her ear, a tremble coursing through her at the sound of his lowered voice and hot breath against her skin. “The first time I smelled you on that damned shirt, I knew right away there was something different. Like a fucking switch got flipped, if you can believe it.”

 

Raven bites her lip at his confession, self-consciously gratified by his response. She opens her mouth to tell him it was the same for her, how much she likes how he smells; that she’s been surreptitiously sniffing random males in the hallways of the Ark in hopes of finding out who he was, but she’s cut off when he works two fingers inside her, losing her train of thought and only a satisfied whine comes out instead.

 

Murphy smiles against her cheek, encouraged by her reaction. Fuck, she’s so sexy draped against him, beads of water all over her and wet and slippery and tight around his fingers. He wants to do every delicious and dirty thing he’s fantasized about ever since that first sniff of her, and having her actually in his arms only makes him more determined to draw it out just in case this ends up being yet another brief taste of something good before it all gets yanked out from under him. He pulls her tighter to him and tilts his head to Raven’s ear again, moving his fingers faster as her body draws him in deeper.

 

“I was annoyed about it, how your scent got my dick stiff, but that didn’t stop me from going back to my cell and jerking off as I imagined who you were, what you looked like and how you tasted. I didn’t get even close, by the way, but I came hard anyhow, just like you’re gonna come hard on my fingers, aren’t you?”

 

His thumb does something then, presses down at the same time his fingers push up, and Raven isn’t ready for it but the orgasm washes over her regardless. It takes her by surprise, her thighs shaking as a moan is wrung from her throat, her body tensing before relaxing and leaving her breathless, Murphy’s arm the only thing keeping her on her feet. She hardly notices as he pulls them both a little closer to the spray, washing away any last traces of suds before reaching over to turn the water off.

 

Raven’s feeling dazed, unnerved by how easily a whispered, slightly naughty story made her come exactly as ordered and so unexpectedly too, but she likes the idea that he couldn’t stop himself from being turned on from her scent, likes that she has that kind of power over him because it makes her own weakness for him easier to bear. If they both feel it, this intense desire and heightened awareness, then she doesn’t have to feel so guilt-ridden over how effortless it is to be aroused by him, so torn about whether she deserves to enjoy this when it’s supposed to be her penance for letting Finn be punished in her stead. Lost in thought, she stands there shivering and dripping, eyes unfocused as Murphy releases his arm from under her breasts carefully, making sure she’s stable before he lets go.

 

He wraps a towel around her, not bothering to take one for himself, and grabs her hand, bringing her along with him back to the main room. He wants to believe she’s just dazzled by the orgasm he gave her, but he’s not exactly an optimist, and as he pushes gently on her shoulders to sit her down at the head of the bed, he’s relieved when her eyes flick back up to his, serious and clear once again.

 

“That was…” she trails off, her eyebrows furrowing as she searches for whatever description seems right. The wait feels interminable to him, standing naked in front of her and still so turned on he’s aching. He doesn’t think she’s mad that he barged in on her shower, or at least the way she responded to him hadn’t indicated it. But then again, it’s not as though he’s well-versed in the way women think, and his imagination runs away from him as he considers what he might be in for.

 

“That was good,” Raven finally says, and it’s such a harmless statement compared to what he was worried she’d come up with that he laughs in relief. His laugh sounds rusty to his ears, but it makes her smile, and the force of that look directed his way gives him a sense of satisfaction he’s unfamiliar with.

 

Murphy swallows, suddenly nervous, and not breaking eye contact, he leans down to kiss her again. Her palm curves around the back of his neck, tugging him towards her as she lays back against the pillows. He braces himself on his knees over her, one hand buried in the damp hair by her ear. He can reach the tie she used to hold it up, and unwinds it gently, wanting to feel the softness of her long hair under his fingers. Raven’s own hands are busy, skimming along his sides and up his arms, leaving fiery little sparks everywhere she touches.

 

The mood seems different now, not as aggressive as their shower but no less heated, and he lingers as he mouths along her jaw to her ear, cupping her breast before sucking a nipple between his lips. His hands roam over her body, learning what she likes and what makes her gasp. When she arches her back and presses herself into him, his cock nestles into the space between her legs and he can hear the blood roaring through his veins at the feel of her against him. Taking a deep breath, he moves lower, spreading her thighs farther apart. He’s not going to be able to hold out much longer, and he needs to taste her, has been thinking about it since he first caught her scent; now he’s practically salivating at how close he is to getting what he wants. She stiffens when she realizes his intentions though, and he looks up at her to see what’s wrong. Her eyes are widened with concern, but he can barely focus on them when her lips are swollen from his kisses and she’s just so damned _pretty_ laid out before him.

 

“Let me do this,” he cajoles, already making up his mind that he’ll beg if that’s what she wants, but Raven still looks uncertain. As he thinks frantically of a way to persuade her, a look of understanding flashes through her eyes as they narrow knowingly.

 

“Murphy, did you read the notes Abby left us?”

 

Immediately, he knows what she’s referring to, one of those studies Abby marked on the datapad that she had probably been blushing over. He caresses the silky skin on the inside of her thigh. “I might’ve skimmed them when you got in the shower,” he confesses. “But I was gonna do this anyway.”

 

She doesn’t look convinced, and he wonders for a moment why she’s nervous, but fuck he’s not going to be swayed from this if he can help it.

 

“I’ll stop if you don’t like it, I promise,” he assures her, and then because he’s a selfish jerk who’s dying to get his mouth on her, he takes it even farther. “If that article was right, then this could help get you pregnant.” _Yeah, he’s definitely an ass_ , he acknowledges, _but whatever guilt he might feel later is gonna be worth it._

 

Slowly, she nods, giving him reluctant permission, and he wastes no time in case she changes her mind, his tongue tenderly parting her folds, committed to making her see the error of her ways.

 

Raven lays back against the pillow, eyes screwed tightly shut and legs tense. Murphy sounds adamant he wants to put his mouth on her, and maybe that embarrassing study _is_ right that it could increase how much sperm he produces, but she can’t stop herself from remembering the only other time she’d tried this. Finn had wanted to, and it’s not like she was opposed to it, for pete’s sake, but they’d been trying to find some private time for what felt like weeks and Finn had gotten impatient. He’d ended up cornering her towards the end of her shift in an area of the Ark that didn’t get much traffic, but she’d felt too exposed despite his confidence that they’d remain alone. Still, she couldn’t relax and she kept worrying that she could lose her position with Mecha Station if they got caught. She’d ended up unable to get into it, pushing him off her and they’d argued - the biggest one they’d ever had. Things had been uneasy between them afterwards, and neither had brought up the subject again. Then Finn had suggested the spacewalk, not long after, and all chances at trying again had been gone.

 

 _It’s no wonder I’m anxious,_ she thinks, fingers gripping the blanket beneath her more securely, but Murphy looked so disappointed over the thought of stopping, and he’d already made her come so satisfyingly that it was difficult to tell him no. _Maybe it won’t be as awkward this time_ , Raven hopes, knowing that the door is locked and it’s after dinner so no one is likely to try and come in until breakfast anyway. She deliberately wills her muscles to loosen as she feels the first stroke of Murphy’s tongue circling her clit, and it doesn’t even take her until the third spiral to realize she was an absolute idiot for even considering turning this down.

 

The rich scent of her was making Murphy lightheaded, and as far as he was concerned, there was no better way to go. It hadn’t taken long at all for Raven to soften beneath him, and the low gasps and breathless words that she makes as he takes his fill of her are going to fuel his fantasies for the rest of his life, he's sure of it. He’s drawn out her bliss deliberately, wanting her utterly wrecked over just how right he’d been, but he doesn’t let her come again even though he’s teased her close to the edge a few times. It’s got to end though, for both their sakes, so he takes the firm little bud between his lips as he slips his hands under her ass and angles her up to his mouth. She shudders beneath him almost instantly, her body twisting with the effort of her orgasm, and he licks one last, long path up her slit before easing himself up the length of her. He watches as her eyes blink slowly open again, dreamy with pleasure, and she surprises him by fisting her hands in his hair and pulling him down for an absolutely filthy kiss, wrapping her legs around his waist as her tongue curls over his.

 

Unable to wait any longer, he tears his mouth from hers, breathing harshly as he rests his forehead on her shoulder. “Last chance to back out,” he mumbles into her skin.

 

Stretching her arm down between them, Raven glides her fingers along the underside of his cock, his teeth clenching with the pleasure-pain of it.

 

Her voice is throaty with desire as she whispers near his ear. “I’ve never had sex without protection. I want to know what it feels like.”

 

“Me neither,” he growls, his fingers encircling her wrist and pinning it down onto the bed beside her head before he comes all over her hand. He balances on his knees, slowly pushing himself into the snug, damp heat of her soaked pussy, any semblance of control he still has vanishing at both the heightened feel of skin on skin and the choked moan she makes when he’s fully inside her. Fuck, it’s all so much more intense than what he’s felt before, and part of it’s the lack of a barrier between them, he knows that, but part of it is also her, them together that’s different.

 

She looks up at him as he starts a steady rhythm, her pupils dilated and her cheeks flushed, and it’s almost too much, too overwhelming to look at her as he thrusts as deep as he can, her free hand clutching his shoulder so hard her fingers will probably leave bruises behind. Bending his head, he breathes her name against her lips just before he kisses her once more, getting a contented little hum from the back of her throat for his efforts. He loosens his grasp around her trapped wrist and her fingers twine between his, holding his hand and squeezing it fiercely while her hips meet his over and over again.

 

The pressure coils tight, building a fire in her belly that’s driving her mad, and Raven’s desperate suddenly, full of _need_ , wrenching her mouth away from him so she can throw her head back and demand he give her what she knows he can. “Please... I want…” She can’t find the words, her body restless and impatient beneath him as he raises up over her, his eyes hungry as she meets his stare.

 

“I know what you need,” he vows, his voice low and rough, and he proves it when his fingers stroke over the slippery, swollen flesh of her labia, her body straining against him and back arching up off the bed as he teases her clit once, twice, and then lightly pinches it, paired with a particularly aggressive twist of his hips. It’s exactly what she wanted, needed, and she comes with a loud cry, fluttering around him as it gets impossibly hotter, wetter where they’re connected.

 

Her heart throbs under her breast as she comes down slowly from her peak, only to find that he’s driving into her harder, faster than before, and she spreads her thighs wider, opening further to him. He sinks deeper with the next plunge, groaning, and Raven can’t even categorize the sound that’s wrenched from her, part sob and part wail, but there’s no mistaking the way his dick swells slightly inside her before pulsing hot streams of come into her core. She’s still shivering through aftershocks of her orgasm, and the feel of his come combined with the powerful sensation of no condom preventing her from feeling every little drag against her nerve endings is enough to push her over the edge one more time. The rumble of his enthused growls as she clamps down on his still-twitching cock echoes through her until her eyes slide shut, exhausted.

 

***

 

Raven slowly comes to awareness, her body sore, sated and reluctant to move. Without opening her eyes, she assesses her position draped over Murphy, her face pressed against his throat, arm across his chest and one leg thrown over his hip. He’s on his back under her with one arm curved around her waist, the other palm resting on her opposite thigh, and if she didn’t feel so satisfied, she might be self-conscious of the way she’s sprawled all over him. Still, it’s hard to care when he smells so good this close, and it’s tempting to nuzzle her nose against the warm skin of his neck. By the way her stomach is gurgling, she guesses it’s getting close to breakfast, and the thought of them sleeping all night curled up like this sends a sharp little pang echoing through her. She buries it quickly and tells herself she’s only hesitant to move so she doesn’t wake him, but absolutely no part of her brain is actually buying that lie, so she lets out a tiny contented sigh and decides she might as well just go with it, snuggling a little deeper into his embrace and mulling over the new feeling of stickiness between her legs.

 

Last night he completely wore her out, and much as it isn’t fair to compare partners, everything else aside, it’s obvious to her that the compatibility test they scored so high on was absolutely right. For whatever reasons, her body responds passionately to Murphy and his to hers, and while her feelings about it all are still very confused, two particular things seem to be clearer to her now. First, whatever last night was, there’s no way she could write it off as ‘just sex’. Raven was under no illusions that one or both of them had miraculously fallen in love with the other after one lustful night, but still… she couldn’t sweep it under the rug as something that didn’t feel meaningful, either. It wasn’t love, no. But it absolutely was _something_ , and given time, she knew it could turn into  _more_ for her, which both scared the crap out of her and led her to her second realization. Whatever it was between them, she trusted Murphy - an unidentifiable thing about him made her feel like it was okay to let herself be vulnerable. After last night, for all she knew they could have been successful at getting pregnant, and he deserves more than to be kept in the dark.

 

She’s in the process of preparing what she’ll say to him, and how she should bring up her plan to save Finn even if she doesn’t get pregnant right away, when the sound of the key in the locked door makes her yank the blankets over her head with a startled squeak. Her sudden movements wake Murphy, and he sits up in time to see Jackson tentatively poke his head through the door, a tray in his hands.

 

Amused at Raven’s chagrin at being caught in the bed, he grins at Jackson. “Can you just put that on the table?”

 

Jackson makes a deliberate point of looking anywhere other than at them, and Murphy takes advantage of his inattention, sliding his hand up Raven’s thigh under the covers, thrilling at how soft her skin is and how the hell he got so lucky to touch it. She tries to push his hand off, but he smoothly laces his fingers between hers and doesn’t let her pull away. After only a moment, she stops struggling, giving in, and Murphy is left feeling like he’s won an important battle. But then Jackson goes and ruins his victory with his parting words.

 

“Abby said to tell you there’s a change of plans due to an unscheduled Sky Box inspection, Murphy. Someone will be here to get you before lunch so you won’t be marked as missing from roll call.” He watches for Murphy’s acknowledgement, getting a terse nod in response, then pulls the door closed behind him and locks them in again.

 

Murphy contains a discouraged sigh, unhappy that his time with Raven is being cut short after the night they spent together. It’s not just that he wants a repeat of every single passionate thing they did, although he’d be an idiot not to. But he was hoping to broach the subject again of what they might decide next, especially now that they’ve gotten past the first awkward stage of having sex and hopefully neither of them will have any hesitation on doing it repeatedly and as frequently as possible. _Well, not on my part, anyway,_ he thinks with a contented grin.

 

Raven peeks her head out from the covers, brushing her hair out of her face as she scoots to sit in the narrow sliver of bed next to him, holding the sheet to her chest. He should say something, he’s sure, like how ridiculously lovely she looks with her snarled hair and sleepy eyes, or maybe about how last night had overwhelmed him and left him hungry for more. Or even how holding her hand felt more intimate than anything he’d ever done with anyone else. His tongue feels tied in a knot when she looks at him though, no words coming to his rescue, and she slowly tugs her hand from his, leaning down to grab his shirt from where it still clings to the foot of the bed. Pulling it over her head, she rolls up the sleeves, getting to her feet with a small, nervous smile.

 

“We should eat,” she tells him, and he watches as his shirt rides up almost-but-not-quite-enough to be indecent as she walks to the bathroom.

 

She shuts the door without a backwards glance, and he pulls at his hair in frustration that he isn’t better at putting his thoughts into speech with the one person stuck with him on this godawful spaceship who actually deserves to hear what he really thinks.

 

***

 

They make it most of the way through breakfast, until Raven makes a stilted attempt at conversation. She’s mentally berating herself for being unable to say what’s really on her mind, knowing she’s being ridiculous after how utterly defenseless they were with each other during the night, when Murphy silently stands up, takes the few steps to her side of the table and hauls her to her feet with a look that sends butterflies aflutter in her stomach. His mouth covers hers only for a moment before she gives herself up to it and melts into him. It’s what she’s wanted since she first woke up in his arms, and there’s no point in wasting any of their now limited time deliberating over it. They may be having trouble communicating, but their bodies have no such issues, everything about their time together unquestionably proving that to her. _Kissing Murphy was like spacewalking,_ she decides - _dangerous and thrilling, and entirely unlike anything else she’s ever experienced_ . It’s easy to forget about the decisions pressing down on them and live in the moment, especially when the moment feels _so good_ , and when she pushes him backwards toward the bed, his grin quick against her lips along with the slick building between her thighs, it feels like the most natural thing in the world to just let go and be with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, less than a week to go for S6! I am panicking about trying to get my S6 spec fic completed, so cross your fingers for me! Having a family totally puts a crimp in my writing plans, LOL!


	5. Chapter 5

 

Well, the moon gives light and it shines by night  
When I scarcely feel the glow  
We learn to live and then we forgive  
Over the road we're bound to go  
More frailer than the flowers, these precious hours  
That keep us so tightly bound  
You come to my eyes like a vision from the skies  
And I'll be with you when the deal goes down  
~ When The Deal Goes Down, Bob Dylan

 

It’s eight days until Raven sees him again, and the time manages to both fly by and drag on, depending on which of her thoughts has prominence in her mind. When their future options weigh on her and she thinks of how he might disagree with her choices or try to persuade her to do something else, the days speed by, bringing her closer to a confrontation fraught with uncertainty. But when her musings turn towards the physical aspect of their relationship and how much she wants to see him again, time passes so slowly it might as well be standing still. The images scrolling through her brain, of the way they touched each other, of how her body responded to his and the undeniable attraction between them only serve to make her want him more, their separation increasing her thoughts of him as well as her libido.

 

For the first time, she wishes she felt closer to her roommates. It would be nice to talk to someone about these new and unanticipated feelings - she’d never thought there was anything wrong with her relationship with Finn, and if she hadn’t met Murphy, maybe she never would have questioned some things. Now though, there was an itch under her skin that she’d never felt before, an anticipation and a want that felt different. She’d like to chalk it up completely to the physical attraction between them, the undeniable knowledge that something about their bodies just clicked, whether it be their scents, their genetic compatibility or who even knew what. That didn’t fully explain it though, since Raven knew she wanted to see him again because she wanted to get to know him better, and talking to him and spending time together had nothing to do with how he smelled.

 

Three hours. That’s how long she has until her shift is over, and then she can shower and discreetly make her way to the Med Bay. It’ll be late when she gets there due to her current stint on night shift, but at least it’ll make it easier for her to walk through the corridors, with even less chance she’ll be missed by her roommates when she has an erratic schedule. It shouldn’t be difficult to keep her attention on the project Sinclair has her working on, but somehow, it is.

 

***

 

Jackson’s on call in the Med Bay when she quietly walks in about three and a half hours later, and he looks exhausted but gets up from his desk, the two of them carefully silent as they pass by a few occupied beds that have been curtained off for privacy. He turns to look at her as they approach the door to what Raven has started to think of as _their_ room.

 

“He got here a few hours ago. I’m not sure how long you two will have, but Abby will be by in a few hours with breakfast, and she might know.” He slides the key into position, and it’s completely dark in the room as Raven pushes the door aside.

 

“Thanks,” she whispers, and slips in through the slight opening, closing it tightly behind her, the small sound of the key turning in the lock acting as Jackson’s response.

 

Without the light to guide her, Raven softly drops her bag next to the door and refers to her spatial memory to get over to the bed, bumping gently into the mattress after a dozen or so steps. She feels blindly for Murphy’s shoulder, getting his arm instead, and he immediately awakens at her touch.

 

“Raven?” His voice is groggy with sleep, but it sends a thrill through her all the same.

 

“Were you expecting someone else?” she teases, taking her shirt off and dropping her pants on the floor, eager to climb in next to him.

 

She hears him move over, creating a space for her as the blankets rustle, and as soon as she slips in, his arms wrap around her. She doesn’t hesitate, lifting her mouth to his as the nagging itch under her skin for the past eight days finally disappears.

 

***

 

Counting the cracks in the ceiling of his solitary cell isn’t his favorite pastime, but it’s probably his most regular one, Murphy determines as he lies on his bed and does exactly that for perhaps the millionth time. He already knows every spidery trail by heart though, so it’s not unexpected when the attempt at distraction doesn’t work.

 

As always these last six months, his thoughts turn to Raven. They’d only gotten two trysts in the medical ward, the first one cut short and the second about a week later and only lasting one partial night. He’d thought they would have more time, more chances to talk, but that second visit had flown by in a whirlwind. He’d faded off while waiting for her, and when she’d crawled into the bed next to him, they’d been all over each other - not that he was complaining. He was just as impatient for her after eight days apart, but the inability to keep their hands and mouths off each other had meant that discussing their situation got postponed again, and he’d let it, not wanting to derail the hedonistic bubble they were inhabiting as well as hoping Raven might actually be enjoying his company.

 

Not that he wanted to take back any of the absolutely mind-blowing sex they’d had that night and into the next day, but not communicating had really been the wrong tactic to take, considering he hadn’t seen her at all since that visit. They’d both fallen into an exhausted sleep afterwards, and it had felt like only minutes before Abby had come in, apologizing because she was late with their breakfast after getting caught up with a patient. Neither of them had even noticed, and Abby had explained that they had until dinner time before Murphy had to be taken back to the Sky Box. There hadn’t been any of the physical awkwardness between the two of them that time, both of them giving in to the attraction with abandon, and it had felt new and almost fragile, and in hindsight, he wonders if they had each been reluctant to break the spell with talk of serious matters.

 

At the time, he’d expected they’d go another week or so and then he’d be taken again to Medical, but the week had gone by and nothing had happened. And then another week passed and he’d gotten angrier and angrier until David Miller had come and once again led him to the room where he’d first encountered the t-shirt test. Abby had been waiting for him there again, and he held himself back from showing his frustration. What she’d told him had been repeating through his mind ever since, and he thought he could probably recite it from memory.

 

_“Let me get right to the point, John. It happened even faster than I expected, but I’ve been measuring Raven’s hormone levels since we first paired the two of you up, and after that second visit, there was enough of a spike for me to think we got lucky. I confirmed it six days ago - it worked and Raven’s pregnant. I hadn’t come to tell you before now because I wanted to hold up my end of the bargain first. Once I had positive proof of the pregnancy, I took it to Chancellor Jaha and confessed what I’ve been doing. He’s not happy with me, but he’s agreed to at least put off floating Finn when his twenty-first birthday comes up soon, though I don’t know exactly what he might decide there. He stated that you would stay in the Sky Box until Raven gave birth, and depending on the outcome, he would agree to abide by the deal I made. He wants to meet with you, but when the baby is born, you’ll be free of this place.”_

 

Abby had looked excited, he remembers, but his heart had been thundering so painfully in his chest that he’d honestly wondered how she couldn’t hear it sitting across the table from him. He immediately wanted to know how Raven had taken the news, imagining she was happy that they had almost miraculously beaten her deadline with Finn, but the reminder of her reason for this deal had eaten at him. He was relieved, for her sake, but the jealousy still burned like acid in his gut that she had agreed to this whole insane situation in order to save her _boyfriend_ , while he had been unable to think of anything but her since the moment he’d seen her standing near the window and Abby had introduced them. Seeing Finn in the course of his daily activities in the Sky Box hadn’t done anything to help, either.

 

Still, he hadn’t posed the question nagging at him to Abby, only asked if Raven was feeling alright. He hadn’t known then that he wouldn’t see her for so long, had naively thought that they’d somehow have a few occasions to visit, especially if Raven told Abby that they hadn’t agreed on what to do about the baby once it was here. But that hadn’t happened, and he’d lain awake on this bed far too often in the six months since, futilely speculating on Raven’s thoughts, wanting desperately to see her. Wrapping his head around being a father was a tougher concept for him to think about, because he worried that if he accepted it, if he let himself fully consider it and maybe even feel anticipation at the possibility of it… Well, what if adoption was what Raven really wanted?

 

He shouldn’t get attached, shouldn’t wonder about a possible future if it was never going to exist. He might’ve fucked up after his mother lost herself, and maybe he wasn’t exactly the kind of son that his dad would have been proud of at this point, but even he couldn’t deny that he’d been given a good example of a parent, that he had someone to emulate if the opportunity presented itself. And he refused to acknowledge it, _refused_ , but deep down he knew if he got a second chance, to get out of the Sky Box, to be a father in some way, he wasn’t going to take it lightly and would be committed to making it work however he had to. But he didn’t know - didn’t know what Raven wanted, didn’t know how she felt, didn’t know what he was going to do with himself if the baby was adopted and he had to pretend it wasn’t his and assimilate back into the society of the Ark and act like maybe he didn’t even know who Raven was either.

 

He’d had a dream soon after Abby shared that Raven was pregnant, and in it Raven had told him that she wanted to raise the baby with Finn, and never wanted him to be involved in any way, and in fact, didn’t ever want anyone else to know that he was the biological father. He’d had to live on the Ark, seeing their happy little family regularly and pretending that it didn’t matter at all to him, like it didn’t affect him to see his own child growing up, the only one he’d probably ever have, and not be able to even talk to them. And then he’d woken up in a cold sweat, angry with himself because on the one hand, he could never regret making this damn deal, but on the other, he’d had no idea the end result would tear him up like this.

 

Rolling over, he hits the pillow beneath his head, trying in vain to make it more comfortable. He closes his eyes and hopes that if nothing else, tonight will bring the other dream, the one he likes so much better.

 

***

 

Raven shifts restlessly in the hard chair outside of Abby’s office. She’s been waiting almost an hour already, and her back is aching, but she’s reached the limit of her patience and isn’t going to be put off any longer. Things haven’t gone exactly as planned lately, but now that her morning sickness has finally come to an end, she feels capable of making an effort again and isn’t going to agree to anything less than what she wants.

 

She must nod off at some point, because the next thing she knows, Abby is gently rubbing her arm to wake her. They go into Abby’s office, and Raven shuts the door firmly behind her, mentally adding a crick in her neck to the list of pains she’s currently experiencing.

 

“I know what you’re going to say, Raven, and believe me, I’m frustrated as well,” Abby sighs as she takes her seat behind her desk, eyes weary.

 

“You cannot possibly be as frustrated as I am,” Raven asserts, “considering you’re not pregnant right now. I’m constantly tired, constantly hungry, constantly hormonal, and that doesn’t even begin to address the fact that Murphy and Finn are _both_ still in the Sky Box, in spite of both Murphy and I living up to our ends of this deal.”

 

Abby doesn’t deflate under Raven’s flinty stare, but she does reach across the desk to squeeze Raven’s hand, in apology or solidarity, Raven isn’t sure.

 

“I’m truly sorry for that, Raven, I really am. Thelonious is adamant that until you give birth successfully, he’s not releasing them. Finn’s birthday was months ago, and the paperwork has been fudged somehow and Finn’s been told to stay quiet. He doesn’t know what’s going on, but he knows that it’s to his benefit not to say anything. And John’s birthday is coming up, but I have no doubt that they’re going to misplace his paperwork or change it somehow to keep him from being floated as well. Chancellor Jaha may not approve of my methods, but he damn well knows the Ark is in trouble if we can’t solve this population crisis, and he’s not about to kill off one half of a couple who has managed a successful pregnancy, especially not when the two of you could be a key part of understanding this compatibility solution going forward.”

 

“Wait a minute, Abby. Murphy and I haven’t agreed to be some kind of ongoing test subjects for you.”

 

“No, I know that, I do! But I’m not going to lie to you, either. I hope that you and John will be willing to answer some questions, and I do have a sample of your blood already, from the pregnancy test, and I’d like to compare it to John’s to see if there are any specific compatibility aspects there as well, or if this truly is based solely on some kind of hormonal chemistry between you.”

 

“I’d be a lot more willing to cooperate with you if I could get some things that _I_ want in return,” Raven bargains.

 

“I respect that, although you should know I haven’t given up on Jaha and have been working on him whenever I can.”

 

“Good, and of course I want you to keep doing that,” Raven agrees, “but I also want you to arrange for me to see Murphy again. I don’t care how it happens, just as long as it does. I knew you were right, that I’d get pregnant, but I don’t think any of us expected it to happen this quickly, although I’m grateful since it saved Finn. But that didn’t exactly give us much time to figure out what we’re actually going to do once this baby arrives, and I’m not making the decision without him. I _need_ to see him, Abby.” Her voice gets emotional at the end of her demands, but Raven can’t fully blame her hormones for this one. It feels impossible, but there’s really so little time left until there’s going to be an actual baby in her arms, and Raven has no idea what will happen then, though she’s certainly thought about all the possibilities often enough. Pretty much all she _can_ think about, really, and she blinks back a few tears as she stiffens her shoulders in an attempt to control herself. The only time she ever lets herself cry is late at night, when everyone else in her bunk is asleep, and even then it’s silent instead of the loud weeping she sometimes wishes she can indulge in.

 

With far more understanding than Raven feels comfortable accepting, Abby gives her a sympathetic smile. “Let me see what I can do.”

 

Raven nods, afraid if she opens her mouth to say something else, far too much will spill out.

 

***

 

Three days after her meeting with Abby, Raven is on to her second, and far more treacherous, confrontation. She spent most of last night talking herself into it, knowing that the longer she waits, the more she’s inclined to never do it at all. But it’s the right thing to do, even though a very large part of her wants to turn around and run far away from this part of the Ark. It hadn’t been difficult to get a meeting with Chancellor Jaha. All she’d had to do was say she had information about a crime, and she’d been asked to have a seat and wait. It would have been impossible to fall asleep here like she did waiting for Abby, and not just because she liked and trusted the doctor. No, this meeting could genuinely mean life or death, and maybe not just for herself. Her hands are shaking in her lap, so she balls them into fists and takes deep breaths in through her nose, determined not to let Jaha know just how nervous she is.

 

It feels like ages, but she still startles when the secretary tells her she can go in, and she gets to her feet carefully. Before she can reach for the door handle, it swings open before her, and Chancellor Jaha fills the doorway.

 

“Come in, Ms. Reyes,” he motions, opening the door wider, and he leans out the door to address his secretary. “See that we’re not disturbed, please.”

 

Raven takes one of the chairs in front of the large desk, instinctively settling her hands against her rounded stomach in a protective gesture. Chancellor Jaha walks around to take his own chair, far larger than her own, and his gaze seems to want to pick her apart. She stares back, not giving an inch.

 

“I understand you work under Jacapo Sinclair. I took the liberty of checking your file. He has nothing but praise for you, although reading between the lines of the notes, I can see that you tend to be headstrong and have your own opinions. But your knowledge and skill level are high enough that you get away with it.”

 

“It’s an honor to work with Sinclair, and your assumptions would be correct.”

 

He grins at that, but it’s not exactly friendly. “I could make more assumptions about why you’re here, but I am a very busy man, so why don’t you just spell it out for me.”

 

“John Murphy and I both made bargains in good faith, and we have fulfilled our ends of the deal. Yet he is still incarcerated in the Sky Box, and so is Finn Collins. I want to know why, and whether you intend to hold up your end of the arrangement.” Raven is relieved when her voice doesn’t waver.

 

“I think we both know this isn’t _my_ arrangement, Ms. Reyes. In fact, I hardly should be expected to uphold a deal that I wasn’t even a part of to begin with.”

 

Raven’s eyes harden, but before she can speak, Jaha continues.

 

“However, I will concede that you and Mr. Murphy had every reason to believe that Dr. Griffin was making an offer in good faith, of which you have carried out your part. Your participation in Dr. Griffin’s rather… unauthorized research has helped to prove her point, and as someone who is very much concerned about our population issues, I do wish to give you my thanks.”

 

“I don’t need your thanks; I need to have the conditions of the deal met, and that means the release of John Murphy and Finn Collins.” It’s easier now, speaking to Jaha, because he’s making her angry.

 

“Well now, that’s where things get a bit murky, Ms. Reyes. I’ll be honest with you, and I hope you can appreciate that I don’t always speak this freely. If you give birth to a healthy child, I will find a way to pardon or release John Murphy, as the two of you followed through with the arrangement Dr. Griffin offered, and also because I am well aware that your cooperation will be helpful as we continue to study the population issues we have to conquer if we wish to sustain humanity." Jaha continues to regard her imperiously. "In addition, I am not unaffected by the fact that Mr. Murphy had suffered abuse as a result of his father’s death and held the Ark responsible for both those things when he chose to set a small fire. That was a crime of passion by a devastated child, although I have a feeling Mr. Murphy himself might take issue with me calling him a child when he was around twelve years old. However, releasing Finn Collins is a tougher problem. Because although I realize his release was your condition to this deal, he still broke the law, and was old enough to know better when he did so. It was arrogant, and reckless, and it cost the Ark three month’s of oxygen when things went wrong. That is not the kind of crime that can easily be pardoned or forgiven.”

 

Her pulse racing, Raven deliberates with herself for the last time. It’s now or never, and even though her heart aches at hearing what Murphy did to get placed in the Sky Box, the knowledge of it only solidifies her belief that she can count on him to carry out her wishes if things go very poorly from this point on.

 

“I can understand your point, Chancellor Jaha, and that’s partly why I’m here today - to speak the truth about something that should have come out when it initially happened. It wasn’t Finn who took that space walk, it was me. I can’t let him continue to be punished when I’m the real guilty party.” It’s crushing, finally speaking it aloud, but when she gets it out, it’s also freeing, in a way. Frightening, yes, and for far more than just her own life, but also a relief letting go of a secret she’s carried for too long.

 

Jaha sits back in his chair, surprised. “This is unexpected, Ms. Reyes. You have confessed to something very serious. I think I can guess, but why did you lie to begin with? That seems unlike the character presented in your file.”

 

She nods, turning to look out the window at the openness of space outside it. “I didn’t want to lie, I had done it, after all. But I had just turned eighteen at the time, and Finn would be arrested as a minor, meaning there was a bigger chance that he might not face floating as a punishment, and that at the least, he would have more time before turning twenty-one than I would. He begged me to lie, but I’m the one who gave in to it. If Abby hadn’t come to me with this deal, I would have confessed prior to his twenty-first birthday, because I could barely live with myself having him in the Sky Box instead of me, and certainly couldn’t have let him get floated. But the deal was offered, and of course I saw it as an option to save him.” Raven meets Jaha’s eyes again. “Regardless of this deal, I have to believe that you won’t float an innocent man, and I want him to stop paying for my crime.”

 

“I’m going to have to take some time to think about these ramifications. If it’s not obvious already, I’m not going to do anything to endanger your pregnancy, so whatever comes next, nothing will happen until you give birth. Sinclair has already been giving you a lighter workload, and I expect that will continue until you get closer to delivery. No matter what else you think of me, Ms. Reyes, I do hope you know that I want your pregnancy to be a successful one.” Jaha leans his chin into his hand, elbow resting on his desk, as he looks at her intently. “If I may ask, if you are sentenced to fulfill Mr. Collins’ punishment, what do you expect to happen to your baby?”

 

“If I get my way, then John Murphy will raise the baby.”

 

“Interesting...Well, I’m going to assume your motherly instincts are guiding you, though I cannot help but wonder how Mr. Murphy is going to feel about that possibility.”

 

 _You’re not the only one_ , Raven thinks, well aware that nothing is set in stone.

 

“Alright, I think that will be all. Try not to think about anything other than your pregnancy for now. No one will be going anywhere at least until your child is born, and I expect to hear only good updates from Dr. Griffin about your condition.”

 

Clearly dismissed, Raven rises to her feet and walks to the door silently, softly closing it behind her. She makes her way back to her room in something of a fog, in disbelief that Chancellor Jaha thinks she can put aside her worries for the remainder of her pregnancy, and unable to help second-guessing the choice she’s just made.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this wasn't updated sooner than now, but I've been very busy with spring yard clean up and my garden. If you follow me on tumblr, you might know that I'm an avid gardener, so every spring is a lot of work to get things tidy again. If you follow my other WIP, then you'll know I've missed my deadline to get that completed before S6 premiered, but I am actively working on both these stories and I want soooo badly for them to be finished, you have no idea! Other stories are itching to be written and I hate finishing projects late! Believe me when I say it's weighing on me!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the first episode of S6! I've already seen the first two, so I'm super looking forward to the reaction after this week's episode!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! This is the second update posted to this story in two days, so make sure you're on the right chapter and haven't accidently skipped ahead! I want to finish this one up so I can concentrate on my other long S6 spec WIP!
> 
> Comments & kudos are much appreciated, and hope you enjoy!  
> 

Well, the moon gives light and it shines by night  
When I scarcely feel the glow  
We learn to live and then we forgive  
Over the road we're bound to go  
More frailer than the flowers, these precious hours  
That keep us so tightly bound  
You come to my eyes like a vision from the skies  
And I'll be with you when the deal goes down  
~ When The Deal Goes Down, Bob Dylan

 

The Sky Box went dark every night at ten o’clock, but there were still pale navigation lights along the floors, and Murphy knew not every prisoner went to bed at lights out. Sometimes he was too full of energy himself, choosing to exercise in his room until exhaustion would tire him out. Other times, sleep was elusive, especially if the sound of faint snoring managed to reach his ears from another cell along his hallway. If he was thankful for anything in this place, it was that he didn’t have to share the tiny room with anyone else. That was more punishment than he might have been able to bear. There wasn’t much of anything that happened in the late night hours other than a few rounds of the guards though, and he’d long ago learned to block them out in favor of sleep.

 

So it was definitely a shock when his door made the slight squeak he associated with it opening, somewhere after midnight, he was sure. His eyelids flew up immediately at the sound, attuned to every noise that was out of place, and the door widened just enough for a dark figure to slip inside. A blanket was draped over their shoulders, a hat on their head, and he was feeling confused more than afraid when a hushed voice carried to his ears.

 

“Sorry to wake you.”

 

The realization that Raven was in his cell, however inexplicable it was, had him almost jumping to his feet. He didn’t stop to think, just took the few steps to reach her and pulled her into his arms. It had been so long since she’d been in front of him, and he wondered if his subconscious was playing tricks on him. She dropped the blanket as she relaxed into him, and when she tilted her head to rest it on his naked shoulder as they embraced, her hat fell off and he could see in the dim light that her hair was gathered in a messy bun, hidden as part of her disguise. Nestled together like this, he could pick up on her scent, that unique fragrance that was just _her_ , the strange, amazing reason they had been brought together to start with, and he knew he wasn't dreaming. He could never replicate her so perfectly in his dreams, and his arms tighten, speechless at having her with him again. The understanding that she had been snuck into the Sky Box suddenly hit him with full force, however, and it was enough for him to pull back just the slightest bit to chastise her.

 

“What are you _doing_ here? Do you know what could happen if you get caught? What were you think-,”

 

She put her hand over his mouth to cut him off, whispering softly. “I asked Abby to arrange it. And yes, I definitely know what could happen. But we need to talk, so I don’t want you to waste time being mad at me.” Her eyes look so solemn in the shadowy glow from the weak floor light, and in that moment he’s so relieved to see her that he knows he’ll give her anything she wants. He nods as she removes her hand, sliding it down his arm, and his gaze follows, landing on the curve of her unmistakably pregnant stomach.

 

He’d thought about it, what she’d look like, but he had no tangible idea of what to expect, considering pregnancies were non-existent in the Sky Box and he’s been locked up for so long, but there’s so obviously a _baby_ inside her, his baby, and it’s abruptly real to him in a way that it hadn’t been before. Like a sucker punch, it takes his breath away at just how unbelievable it all is, and his palm hovers between them, wanting so badly to touch her but uncertain if it would be welcome.

 

Grabbing his hand, she guides it with her own, and he feels her eyes on his face as he explores the fullness of her belly. Raven’s been beautiful to him since the moment he first saw her, and maybe it’s a form of masculine conceit on his part, but seeing her like this, pregnant as a result of what they did together, makes him think she’s never been lovelier.

 

“Sometimes I can feel her kicking, but it’s unpredictable. Abby says it will happen more frequently as I get farther along.”

 

Murphy looks up in surprise. “Do you know it’s a girl?”

 

“No, I just feel like it might be,” Raven shares. “I had a dream about it, but I wouldn’t mind either way. Do you have a preference?”

 

He hasn’t let himself think about it, honestly, but the words feel right when he answers. “It doesn’t matter which to me, just that there aren’t any problems.” He’ll be thinking about it now that he’s seen her, though, wondering if the baby is a boy or girl and what it might look like. He smooths his hand under the bottom arch of her stomach and up towards her belly button, and an image of a dark-haired baby with deep brown eyes flashes through his mind, and he loses himself for a moment just thinking about it.

 

Raven gestures to his bed. “Can I lay down? It’s been a long day, and my back hurts more and more lately.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” He scrambles over to the cot, straightening the blankets that he’d flung back, unsure of whether she wants him to join her. She sits on the bed and takes off her shoes, easing onto her side and shifting until her back is almost against the wall.

 

“Guard Miller will give us some time before he returns,” Raven explains. “You might as well get comfortable too. I did interrupt your sleep again, after all.” She sounds self-conscious as she says it, and he rushes to reassure her.

 

“I’d pick you over sleep every time.” It’s nothing but the truth, even if it feels like a huge admission once he blurts it out. She bites her lip in response, and he swallows thickly as he slides in to face her, careful to give her space where he can. The bed is small, and ‘comfortable’ isn’t the word he’d use to describe laying in it with Raven, especially considering just how many of his fantasies have been fueled by imagining her there with him, and now she is, her curved stomach sticking out far enough to brush against his own.

 

“I would have come sooner,” Raven explains, “but morning sickness isn’t exactly the right term. For me it was all day sickness and I only just started feeling like myself again.”

 

“But you’re okay, right? Abby has checked to make sure?”

 

She nods. “Yes, we’re both fine. Abby says this is a healthy pregnancy and that the baby is doing great despite how lousy I felt. Sinclair has let me have a more flexible schedule now that most people can tell I’m expecting.”

 

He knows Sinclair is her boss. She’d spoken of him a few times when they’d gotten together when this all first started, and each time he can hear the affection in her tone when she mentions him. That last night, when she’d come to him after her night shift ended, she’d been almost chatty as she got sleepier, curled up in his arms and telling him enthusiastically about the project Sinclair had her working on. Most bosses he’d heard of around the Ark weren’t exactly inclined towards kindness, but it sounded like Raven had found an exception. He’s pulled out of his musings when Raven gently reaches out to get his attention, her fingers grazing his wrist.

 

“I never doubted that Abby was right,” she begins, “about this working, I mean. And of course I wanted it to happen fast because of Finn’s birthday, but I never expected _this_ fast. You asked me, that first night, what I thought we should do if a baby happened.” She searches his eyes, and he remembers how she told him that adoption might be best, and how he’d been unreasonably upset about it.

 

“Anyway, you never said what you thought we should do, what you wanted. But you should know that just because I said adoption might be the best option, that doesn’t mean it’s the only choice.”

 

His stomach clenches with nerves at her revelation, and he deliberately injects a calm tone into his words. “Part of the deal I made with Abby was that if the baby was adopted, it would only be to Alpha Station parents that it resembled. I’m not sure why I didn’t tell you that before, if it changes anything for you.”

 

She’s quiet, her lashes lowered so he can’t tell what she’s thinking, but her hands have curled around her belly, fingers spreading over the swell. He wants to put his hands there too, his earlier touch far too brief. It was firmer than he’d expected, her skin tight rather than soft like the rest of her. He’s curious what it feels like to her, if it hurts like she said her back does, but he’s in unknown territory here, no idea where the boundaries are.

 

“Maybe it makes me more selfish,” Raven whispers, still not meeting his eyes, “because as good as that would be, I still want to keep her.”

 

Relief rushes through him, his heart thudding in his chest, and before he thinks better of it, he reaches over and tilts her chin up so he can see her face. “Hey, it’s not selfish to want to keep your baby. Ever since Abby told me you were pregnant, I’ve been trying to guess what you'd decide, and I’d be lying if I said that adoption was my first choice.”

 

“Really?” she asks, and maybe he’s reading into things, but to his ears she sounds hopeful. “It’s not only my decision, you know. It’s yours too.”

 

“Raven, I know we haven’t spent much time together, and what we have had isn’t always spent talking, but I know enough about you to say that if you want to raise this baby, then I think you’d do a wonderful job of it.”

 

Pushing herself up on her elbows, she looms over him as he lays back against the pillow, his hand falling away from along her jaw where he’d let it linger. There’s a slight frown on her face now, and the twisting in his stomach returns. “And where do you see yourself, if I’m raising our baby?”

 

He knew this conversation wasn’t going to be easy, but it feels like he’s choking with the words he wishes he didn’t have to say. “I’ve been locked away for over eight years. Even if this works like it’s supposed to, and I get out, I don’t exactly have much to offer a kid. I’m not even sure anyone will give me a job.”

 

The frown disappears from her face, and now there’s understanding in her eyes, combined with something else, something more complicated. “Put all that aside for a minute, and just tell me if you _want_ to be involved.”

 

When did it get to be so difficult, to just say what he wants… Answering her question is even tougher than admitting his shortcomings, because once he says it, there’s no going back. Vulnerability makes him feel queasy, far too exposed under her intelligent gaze, but the reality is that he’s wanted her since he smelled that damn shirt, and seeing her that first time only made it worse. There’s already no going back, the baby only adding to and intensifying every single feeling he already has.

 

“ _Yes_ ,” he reveals, and the smile she gives him makes the risk worth it. She leans down, as if to kiss him, but she stops halfway there, her palm resting on the center of his chest, and he forces himself to lay still and not rise up to meet her, despite how much he wants to.

 

“I need you to promise me something, and I’m really serious about it.” She stares resolutely down at him, her face only inches from his, and whatever she sees must be agreeable since she continues. “Even though getting pregnant was going to be a given considering the deal we made, I didn’t know how attached I’d be, how much I want this baby. And I do, I love her already. If something happens to me, promise me you’ll be the one to raise our child, and that you won’t give her up even if someone pressures you or you think they might be able to provide better.”

 

Whatever he expected, it’s not this, and he frowns in confusion until he thinks he understands her concerns. He runs his hand down her arm in reassurance. “Nothing’s going to happen to you. Abby’s a good doctor. She’s going to make sure both of you are perfectly taken care of.”

 

“I know she will. Just promise me you’ll keep our baby, no matter what.”

 

It’s disquieting, to have her so focused on something so unpleasant, but she’s demonstrably worried, and he’ll do whatever she needs to alleviate her concerns. There’s no way he’s going to let anything happen to her or the baby, and that would be the case whether she wanted him involved or not. It was a big thing, what she wanted him to agree to, but it would never come to fruition, Murphy knew it, and it was easy to give in and reassure her. “I promise.”

 

“Good.” Her eyes are stony for a quick second, and then she’s grinning down at him again and he thinks he must’ve imagined it. Using the hand on his chest for balance, she maneuvers one leg over him to straddle his hips, his groan impossible to hold back when she grinds against him through the thin material of his sleep pants.

 

“We can work out the rest of the details later,” she suggests, but he can barely concentrate when she reaches down for the edges of her shirt and pulls it over her head. “There’s something else I want from you before I have to go, if you’re up for it.”

 

There’s no mistaking the tease in her voice as she rocks forward, and he grabs her hips, pulling her down harder as he thrusts up. Raven gasps, her pretty brown eyes darkening with lust. He reaches behind her to unhook her bra, dragging it down her arms until he can lean up and suck a nipple into his mouth, cupping the other in his palm. They’re larger than before, and based on the throaty little moans escaping her throat, maybe more sensitive too.

 

Her hands weave through his hair as she holds him to her, eventually tugging his head up so she can lean down to kiss him. It’s better than he remembers, so passionate and charged with lust, every little touch inciting him higher and higher. It’s been too long without her, too many nights spent hard and aching as he thinks of her. Having her in his cell, saying the things he’s wanted to hear and being surrounded by her scent makes him almost wild as his hands roam across her warm skin. He sucks down her neck, wanting to burn the taste of her into his memory so deep he won’t ever be able to forget it, and she gasps at the nip of his teeth along the sensitive flesh.

 

“Have to hurry,” she pants, “so we don’t get interrupted.”

 

Wrapping his arms around her, he rolls them back onto their sides, unbuttoning her pants so he can tug them down her thighs. “I missed you,” he confesses, and he didn’t know that’s what he was going to say, but god it’s true, he thought about her practically every minute, and he’d started to believe he’d never get this again, never feel her naked body pressed against his.

 

Raven kisses him, her tongue sliding into his mouth as he slides her panties down her hips, but she pulls back before he can deepen the kiss the way he wants to.

 

“Missed you too,” she mutters against his lips, her own hands pushing at the waistband of his pants. “Missed the way you smell and your ridiculous comments when we watched movies.”

 

He grins arrogantly and gets his pants off one leg without looking. “You kept telling me to shut up.”

 

“Yeah, but I didn’t really mean it.”

 

“I know. Which is why I kept talking. What else did you miss?”

 

She hums naughtily, rubbing her leg over his now that they’re both completely undressed. “I took the soap we used, that first time, back to my room and every time I took a shower since then, the smell of it made me think of what you did to me, how you made me come.” Her eyes flick up to his, and even in the faint light he can see how turned on she is, and it only excites him more to know that she thought about him, to know that she wants him like he wants her.

 

“Gonna be thinking about that now, of you in the shower all slippery with soap, here,” his hand trails over her belly, “and here, too,” and his fingers glide along her breasts. He delves his other hand between her legs, trailing a finger through the wet warmth. Raven throws her head back, struggling for breath, and he’s suddenly and unreasonably angry that they don’t have more time, that he can’t do every single thing he wants even though he knows he’s incredibly lucky to have her with him at all. Everything tonight is more than he expected, but he’s greedy, willing to push his luck and everything else with it if it meant he could keep her. But he’s getting ahead of himself, so he takes a deep breath and grabs her around the waist, rolling to his back again while bringing her on top of him.

 

“Wish we didn’t have to hurry, but I’m not gonna last long anyway with you looking like this,” he tells her, his gaze admiring as she sits astride his hips.

 

“My body is definitely different since the last time you saw me,” Raven says, and the distressed look that crosses her face is brief, but it’s there, and he doesn’t miss it.

 

“Yeah, you got hotter.”

 

“You have a real way with words, John Murphy.” Raven laughs, but he can tell she likes the compliment, and then she accompanies her statement with a twist of her hand over his quivering cock, making him groan.

 

She dips forward, her stomach and breasts heavy as they’re compressed against him, and he strains his shoulders up to meet her lips in another fevered kiss. He’s distracted by her mouth, the eager way her tongue licks and explores his own, so when she sinks down onto him in one smooth slide the utter sodden heat of it stuns him. Controlling the urge to flip her over and drive himself into her, he lets her set the pace, his hands taking a lazy path to her ass when she draws back from their kiss to ride him more aggressively.

 

Her eyes are closed, and she’s so absorbed in chasing her pleasure it fascinates him, but it also brings him closer to the edge to see her in this position, taking what she wants, and he wasn’t kidding when he told her he wouldn’t last after going so long without her. Sex with Raven is so arousing, so much better than anything else he’s ever experienced, and the stimulation is overwhelming. Reaching down between them, he circles a finger over her clit, drawing her closer to orgasm, her eyes flying open at the sensation. Raven watches him intently, and he can see she’s fighting not to make noise, to be quiet though that’s not her usual manner. He loves that he knows that about her, knows what she looks like and how she sounds when she comes, and it only takes one more flick and a particularly deep thrust to make it happen for her again. She melts, her body suddenly boneless as she flutters around him, and manages to swallow the moan that almost escapes her throat. Pressing his thumb against her this time, he bucks up from underneath, grinding into her until he can no longer take the heat, the friction, the incredible soaked clench of her pussy around his dick. He erupts inside her, marvelling once more at how amazing it feels with no barrier as she clings to him, completely spent.

 

When his brain starts to function again, he turns them to their sides so her weight isn’t on her stomach, and tucks her closer to his chest. Her forehead is damp when he leaves a kiss there, and for a moment he imagines they can spend the rest of the night like this, wrapped up in each other. Maybe, in the future, if things go right for a change and he doesn’t fuck things up, maybe then it could happen for real. But now, he reluctantly pulls out of her embrace and gets out of the cot even when he hears her disgruntled mumbling.

 

“Much as I enjoy looking at you naked, I want you dressed before the guard comes back to get you,” he explains, bending down to pick up her shirt and panties off the floor. Her pants are at the bottom of the bed, but her bra isn’t anywhere to be seen.

 

“I don’t want to go.” It’s a quiet confession, and her eyes are dark and serious from where she looks up from her spot on his pillow.

 

Murphy drops to his knees at the side of the bed, cupping her face in one hand and her pregnant belly in the other. “I don’t want you to go either.” He kisses her softly, sweetly, but when he pulls back he doesn’t attempt to hide the warning in his voice. “As much as you sneaking in here has fulfilled quite a few of my fantasies and will undoubtedly inspire plenty more, you can’t come in here again, Raven. It’s too dangerous if you get caught. You asked me for a promise earlier, and now you need to give me one. No matter how much I want to see you, I want you and the baby to be safe. Promise me you won’t risk yourself like this again.”

 

“Alright. I won’t come back here, but you’re not going to be in the Sky Box much longer anyway. Three months or so, and then you’re out and the baby will be here and you’ll have to figure out how to be a father.”

 

A faint smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “Lucky for this baby, you’ve probably read everything there is to know already since I’m coming in completely unprepared. I have a lot to learn to catch up with you.” His forehead furrows in confusion as her eyes seem to dim with his words, but before he can ask her what’s wrong, she leans up again to kiss him and he forgets about everything until she jerks her head back in surprise, a startled little gasp accompanying the motion.

 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” His eyes search her face but she’s not panicked as she tugs his hand out of her hair and places it on her stomach.

 

“I'm fine - the baby just kicked me, that’s all. It was a hard one too. Let’s see if it happens again.”

 

They wait together, and he’s not one for religion or praying or belief in some kind of higher power, but nonetheless he finds himself calling on every superstition he knows for the odds to be in his favor, wanting desperately to know what it feels like. Something works, or maybe it’s just coincidence, but he won’t be picky about how it happens when the tiny ripple under his hand becomes a solid and exciting jab that he can’t mistake for anything else.

 

“Jesus, that’s way harder than I thought it would be!” He’s awed at how powerful it is, both the kick itself and the deeper realization that there’s a human being growing inside Raven. She laughs at his incredulous tone.

 

“Too bad you can’t try feeling it from the inside - then you’d really be in shock.”

 

She sits up, and he spots her bra that had been hiding underneath her. He grabs it without removing his hand from her stomach, and they sit side by side as their baby moves below their linked fingers.


	7. Chapter 7

 

Well, the moon gives light and it shines by night  
When I scarcely feel the glow  
We learn to live and then we forgive  
Over the road we're bound to go  
More frailer than the flowers, these precious hours  
That keep us so tightly bound  
You come to my eyes like a vision from the skies  
And I'll be with you when the deal goes down  
~ When The Deal Goes Down, Bob Dylan

 

Raven oversleeps the next morning due to not getting back to her room until very late, only getting dressed with about ten minutes to spare before Guard Miller had come to collect her from Murphy’s cell the night before. No one else is in the room, everyone having gone to their own duties, so Raven takes the opportunity to stretch and rest, thinking about seeing Murphy after so long and how her body finally feels sated.

 

She’d told Abby that she felt hormonal, but the more honest way to describe it would have been to say she was in a state of constant desire since the morning sickness had stopped, and going without sex for months had been almost painful to adjust to. The pregnancy libido was a part of it, she was sure, but she’d gone without sex for years since Finn had been arrested, and it had hardly been a blip on her radar. Since that first time with Murphy though… There was no doubt that the scent test had been right - they were compatible on a physical level in ways that Raven had never experienced before. Sex with Murphy made everything tingle, like every part of her had been asleep and suddenly woke up, made it so she couldn’t care about anything except wanting to feel him inside her. Even now, she can still pick up traces of his scent on her and it sets off a chain reaction that leaves her longing for him. At first this awareness, this huge well of lust for him specifically had frightened her, had her wondering if the physical connection they had was overriding her ability to think or come up with her own feelings about him, but she’d had plenty of time to process everything in their months apart, and last night had just proven to her that the desire might have made her more open to having feelings for Murphy, but it hadn’t forced her into liking him. She’d come to that on her own, in the time they’d had together and all the time they didn’t.

 

Months ago, that first morning after they had sex, she had known it then, that her feelings could evolve into something more, but she hadn’t counted on them having so few chances to be together before she got pregnant. Even in the too-short stolen moments they did have, he’d gotten under her skin and had made her question her feelings about her relationship with Finn, because everything with Murphy was just so much more...concentrated, like it wasn’t about how much time they had together but about the connection they had and the feeling that it could burst into something even bigger if she let it. When she saw him in the Sky Box last night, even after months of unresolved questions about him and the baby and the stressful situation she had put herself into, she knew she could never regret everything that had happened, because it had all led her to him. And she could admit to herself now that her feelings ran much deeper than just _like_ towards Murphy, or even simple attraction and lust.

 

Remembering the way he’d let her have control last night, the way he’d watched her as she rode him and how he’d told her with every touch how hot all the changes to her body made him had her rubbing her thighs together under the sheet, and Raven gave herself a mental shake to stop her thoughts from going any further. Much as she wants to close her eyes and relive the stolen moments they had together, she really had snuck in to see him with a more important goal than having incredible sex, even if there was a distinct possibility that it had been the last chance she was going to get with him. The thought is painful to consider, but if it  _had_ been the last time, everything about it had been exactly what she wanted.

 

Murphy had been right when he told her that they hadn’t spent much time together, but that hadn’t stopped him from concluding that she’d be a good mother, and it hadn’t gotten in her way of believing him to be a good father either. Some things she just knew, and if she wasn’t going to be around to raise their baby, it was important to her, it was _necessary_ , that she would be able to imagine that Murphy was taking care of what she had to leave behind. Even before she’d learned more from Jaha about why Murphy had been sentenced to the Sky Box, she had understood something essential about him. It wasn’t obvious at first glance, you had to look deeper, but he was _good_ in his core even if he tried to hide it, and Raven’s belief that he would love their baby had been confirmed with the way he’d spoken last night, the way he’d touched her stomach in wonder and looked at her like she was important. He might not get everything right, might not do it perfectly, but she didn’t doubt that he’d act from a place of caring, of love for their baby, and that’s what she wanted more than anything else.

 

She hadn’t told him the truth, knew he thought she was worried that something might happen to her in childbirth, but he’d made her the promise, and she couldn’t let herself care that it hadn’t been a fully informed one. She could have corrected him, let him know that although she is concerned about the birth and all that comes with it, that he was wrong about that being behind her need for him to give her his word. Raven couldn’t say it though, because there was nothing he could do now that she’s already pushed the ball in motion. She’d had to fight back tears as she’d looked down at him in his bed, knowing she wasn’t being honest but determined to get him to agree with her demands anyway. Why he’d agreed wasn’t as important that he _did_ agree, and she was willing to take whatever she could get. _Her_ future was uncertain, but she was going to make sure that her baby’s wouldn’t be.

 

At that thought, she pushes herself out of bed and bites her lip as her sore muscles protest. She needs to have a chat with Sinclair, and there was no time like the present to tie up one more loose end.

 

***

 

Thelonious Jaha paces the large expanse of his office as Murphy slouches insolently in the padded chair, watching through lowered eyelids. To say he hadn’t expected to be escorted to the Chancellor’s office this afternoon was an understatement. At first, when he’d been taken out of the Sky Box, he’d thought maybe Raven had gone into labor. It had been another two damn months since he’d seen her, but it was still too early for the baby to come, and he’d felt a rush of worry along with the undeniable anticipation to see her again. The guard hadn’t taken him anywhere near medical though, instead pushing him down into a seat in the waiting room outside this office. He’d been summoned in here a good five minutes ago and still had no idea what this meeting was supposed to be about. If Jaha thought he’d cave first and ask, however, he had another thing coming. Murphy didn’t have anywhere to be and nothing to do but kill time, and the very last person he’d ever give satisfaction to would be this man.

 

Eventually, Jaha stops pacing and storms over to his desk chair. Murphy doesn’t bother to swivel back towards him, just keeps staring out the large window, since it’s by far the most interesting thing in the room. A few silent moments pass until Jaha breaks it, sounding frustrated.

 

“Mr. Murphy. Is it too much to ask that you pay me some attention, considering you’re here in my office?”

 

“I guess that all depends on whether you have something to say that holds my interest,” Murphy shrugs, turning only his head in slight acknowledgment of the question.

 

“In that case, I’m certain it will interest you to know that Raven Reyes paid a visit to this same office a few months ago, sitting in that exact chair, although her manners were infinitely better than yours.” The dry tone of the Chancellor is a curious turn of events, as if he finds this situation humorous, but of course he has Murphy’s focus now that he’s mentioned Raven.

 

Slowly, he spins the chair to fully face Jaha. “I’m listening.”

 

“Ms. Reyes came to ask me if I intended to adhere to the deal Abby Griffin offered the two of you, and to express her outrage that both you and Mr. Collins were still being held in the Sky Box. We had quite an interesting conversation, which likely wouldn’t be unexpected to you, since I’m willing to bet that you already know she’s not quite... conventional.”

 

Not that he’d ever say a word about it, but he almost wants to brag about how Raven snuck into the Sky Box to see him, just because it would probably impress Jaha all the more. That, and likely piss him off too, which Murphy wouldn’t be opposed to. He keeps his mouth shut though, only raising his eyebrow slightly in response.

 

Jaha sighs audibly, and Murphy counts it as a point for him. “I explained to her that I would fulfill the bargain with you, although I would like to point out, once again, that it was not me who actually made this deal. Once Raven successfully gives birth, I will find a reason to release you from the Sky Box, and so long as you don’t break any other of the Ark’s laws, you’ll stay out of it. Now that Abby’s been increasing the prisoner testing with those in the right age range, I expect a few more compatibility matches may be found, and either I, or the full Council, will need to come up with some explanations for all this. Regardless, you’ve recently had your twenty-first birthday and here you still are, as is Mr. Collins, so that should be a sign of my attempts to abide by this bargain.”

 

When Murphy continues to sit silently in the seat across from him, Jaha taps his fingers impatiently on the large desk. “However, as I have explained to Ms. Reyes, releasing Finn Collins from the Sky Box is a tougher sell. I’m sure you’ve heard of his antics?”

 

“I have,” Murphy admits, knowing very well that Jaha knows that gossip runs rampant among the prisoners, especially when it comes to what someone new has been arrested for. And Murphy had been locked up longer than a lot of them, informed better than most .

 

“As you would expect, Ms. Reyes was not pleased with my reasoning, although he was still alive after his birthday had passed.” Jaha leans forward over the desk with anticipation, his eyes focused on Murphy’s reaction, giving Murphy an ominous feeling of dread. “And I imagine it will surprise you, as it did me, to learn that Ms. Reyes confessed to the crime instead, saying that it was she who had gone on the spacewalk, not Mr. Collins, but that he had convinced her to let him take the blame since she was over eighteen at the time.”

 

Murphy struggles to hide his response to this revelation, but the clenching of his jaw is a sure giveaway to someone as politically practiced as Jaha. He hadn’t become Chancellor without being able to read people.

 

Sitting back in his chair, Jaha lets a moment pass before resuming his lecture. “She expressed regret at letting Collins take her place, explained if she hadn’t gotten offered this deal with Abby - Dr. Griffin - that she would have confessed before his twenty-first, with the expectation that I would not float an innocent man. Certainly if I had knowledge that someone did not commit the crime they were being punished for, we would need to investigate that. Even now, years later, I did exactly that.”

 

“And what did you find out?”

 

“I called Finn Collins into my office. He knew something was going on since he hadn’t been floated, but he didn’t know, and still doesn’t fully know, what’s happening. He was smart enough to keep his head down, and when I told him that Ms. Reyes had confessed to his crime, he admitted it was the truth after some further questions. He did provide some information that Ms. Reyes had not mentioned, however, which was that it was fully his idea, his plan, and that she had not known about it until it was almost in motion.”

 

“What do you want me to say about this?” Murphy’s head is spinning, and if he had any power at all, fuck, he’d be using it to go and yell at Raven right now. She should’ve told him about this, should’ve let him talk some damn sense into her, and now that he’s putting everything together, a few things are starting to become painfully clear from when they saw each other last.

 

“I want you to tell me, Mr. Murphy, what you think I should do about this mess.”

 

His hands grip the arm of the chair in sheer frustration before he deliberately loosens his fingers. “What would make you think a criminal like me has the answers? All I know is that there’s no way in hell you’re floating Raven for this. You heard it for yourself; she never would have done it on her own, wouldn’t even have considered it without someone else talking her into it.”

 

“And you know her that well?”

 

“I know her enough.”

 

Jaha stares at him sharply, missing nothing. “Do you love her then?”

 

“That’s none of your business,” Murphy grits out, furious at Jaha, at Finn Collins and even at Raven for not being able to let this go, and worse, for not trusting him to help her resolve it. What he felt for Raven had been on his mind ever since he first met her, but he wasn’t about to share his feelings on the subject, especially not when he’d just been thrown such a curveball.

 

“You’re right, it’s not. But it may be relevant to the decisions I make going forward, so you can regard this as your chance to convince me of your point of view. I have three people to consider, all of whom are guilty of some crime here on the Ark, whether it be lying, planning an illegal action and then a cover up, spacewalking and wasting the Ark’s air, or setting a dangerous fire onboard. I have two deals that have been struck, and one soon-to-be-born child who may help us all figure a way to solve our dying population. I’m all ears, Mr. Murphy, criminal solution or not.”

 

He shifts in his seat resignedly at Jaha’s speech, well aware that everything is fucked up now. It had been nice, believing things would work out for a change, but really he should have known better than to get his hopes up. “Seems to me what you really have is a simple math problem. You need to uphold a deal that saves two people from being floated. Maybe it’s your lucky day, since I can make this solution an easy one. You let Collins out of the Sky Box for time served and release him on Raven’s deal. Then, use my pardon for Raven and float me for whatever crime you choose - hers, mine - it doesn’t matter which one. Either way you’ve kept your deal and someone gets punished, and isn’t that the whole point?”

 

“You’d volunteer to be floated in her place, if that’s the punishment that was chosen for Ms. Reyes?”

 

Murphy carelessly shrugs. “It’s been my fate for almost as long as I can remember. It just got delayed a little bit.”

 

Jaha gazes at him for a long moment before smoothly standing and gliding his chair backwards. He walks sedately across the room and opens the office door. “I’ll take this under advisement, Mr. Murphy. I appreciate your time today, it’s been very...enlightening. If it eases your mind at all, I won’t be making any decisions until the baby arrives. I don’t want to put Ms. Reyes under any stress before the birth. Guard Miller is here and will take you back to the Sky Box.”

 

Pushing to his own feet, Murphy stalks through the door without another word or a backward glance.

 

***

 

“Why isn’t he here yet, Abby?”

 

“I told you, Raven, I don’t know. I sent for him at least two hours ago, but there’s still plenty of time before the baby comes.”

 

Raven almost snorts in response before remembering it’s not Abby’s fault Murphy hasn’t arrived yet. She woke up early this morning, her back hurting, and took a walk hoping to stretch it out and ease the ache. She’d been on her way to breakfast when she’d felt a wetness leaking down her leg, and she’d stopped right where she stood, trying to figure out what was going on with her body. She’d imagined her water breaking would be some sort of large gush of water, but this felt more like she’d had a bathroom accident and she’d been frozen with embarrassment that she might have urinated on herself in public. By sheer luck, Sinclair had been leaving the mess hall, took one look at her standing in the corridor, a stricken look on her face, and took over. He’d gotten her to Med Bay before she knew it and with hardly anyone noticing, and Abby had been checking in regularly ever since, reassuring her that plenty of women had experienced the same thing and that her experience was normal too. That had all happened about three hours ago, and Raven’s patience was waning the longer it took Murphy to join her.

 

So far the labor hadn’t been anything unbearable, though Abby warned her it would get worse as the time passed. She was bored more than anything else, stuck in one of the adjustable beds towards the back of the Med Bay, and she had assumed Murphy would get to be with her during the birth. If someone was preventing him from coming, she was already gearing up for a confrontation over it. It had been over two months since she'd snuck into the Sky Box to see him, and although she was excited that labor had finally started, she was also really looking forward to seeing Murphy. 

 

Abby pushes back from her position at the foot of the bed where she’d been checking the most recent progress. “Alright, you’re a little before your due date, but nothing I’m concerned over. You’re at almost five centimeters now, and you remember we have to get to ten before we can start pushing. First time moms tend to go slower, but if we’re lucky we’ll have this baby sometime tonight.”

 

“What is this ‘we’ you keep mentioning? Seems to me there’s only one of us experiencing contractions right now,” Raven retorts sulkily. Okay, maybe her irritability is starting to show, but circumstances being what they are, she figures she’s entitled to a little bit of snark.

 

Grinning, Abby just rolls her eyes. “You’ll be glad I’m here before this is all over, and while it’s been a while, I’ve been in this exact same situation, so your little outbursts aren’t going to faze me. If John gets here soon, you can walk if you want to get out of bed, but I don’t want you doing it on your own in case you get dizzy.”

 

Raven meets Abby’s eyes worriedly. “What if he doesn’t get here soon?”

 

“I’ll send someone down to the Sky Box to follow up, okay? And worst case scenario, I’ll go to the Chancellor’s office myself in order to get him here.”

 

“Thanks, Abby.” She smiles gratefully at the doctor before the next contraction kicks in and pulls away her focus.

 

***

 

He arrives when she’s closing in on six centimeters, almost two hours later. At first, Raven is just relieved to have him with her, barely caring what took him so long and happy to simply be in the same damn room again. Abby walks him in, a satisfied smile on her face as she looks between them.

 

“Thanks in large part to the two of you and what you helped me prove, a few weeks ago the Council voted on a sort of parenting clause for the people in the Sky Box. I’ve found more matches now that Chancellor Jaha has allowed the full age range to be included in the testing and we haven’t had to sneak around for anyone to participate. The vote wasn’t unanimous, but it did pass. It means that if someone in the Sky Box makes a match and agrees to become parents, they’ll receive a review and a likely pardon, based on the severity of their crime. This is going to really be a boost to rebound our population, and not to mention it’s going to free people who often did things out of desperation rather than a desire to break the law.”

 

Raven grins at Abby’s excited tone. “Maybe you should put your money where your mouth is, Abby. You could put yourself into the testing pool just so you can show how committed you really are to the process.” She’s teasing, mostly, but the interested expression on Abby’s face along with the slight blush rising on her cheeks is amusing as she seems to consider it.

 

“I’m far too busy to have any more children, Raven, don’t be ridiculous. I have to check on a few other patients now, but I’ll be back and you can push the button if you need someone. Your body is going to be doing most of the work until it’s time to push, so just try to relax while you can. I won’t be far away. John, I’m glad you made it.”

 

Abby turns and walks towards the front of the Med Bay where the other patients are, effectively leaving them alone and in seclusion in the curtained-off rear section. Murphy leans over the side of the bed, finally giving her a kiss, but as enjoyable as it is after suffering through another separation, something feels off when he lifts his head and peers down at her.

 

“Not that I want to take attention away from the situation we’ve got here,” Raven waves her hand to gesture at her stomach, “but I feel like that kiss had more going on than you being glad to see me. What’s wrong?”

 

Murphy gives her an exasperated glare, although he does lean in to kiss her once more, rougher this time like he’s letting her feel his frustration. It leaves her breathless, and she has to concentrate to hear what he tells her after he pulls back.

 

“Damn it, Raven. I _am_ happy to see you, you know that, but I also know you confessed to Collins’ crime, and we are _so_ going to talk about it after you have this baby.”

 

His upset tone and the realization that he found out what she did makes her stomach churn.”How did you find out,” she asks, her voice unsteady.

 

He takes her hand in his as he lingers at the side of her bed, and she’s sure he can feel it trembling. “We’ll talk about it later. I don’t want to upset you but there’s no way I can pretend I don’t know about it.”

 

“Oh, no, absolutely not. That is _not_ how this is gonna go. If you think I’m going to push out this baby before we talk about this, then… well, I don’t know what, but you’re just wrong!”

 

“Raven, you’re in labor. The baby’s coming whether you’re ready or not, and -”

 

“And nothing!” Raven interrupts him, growing more irate by the minute. “You know what I did, and I can and _will_ hold off having this baby until we at least find a way to discuss it without you being mad at me, because you obviously are!”

 

Murphy’s eyes widen with incredulity, though he doesn’t release her hand and keeps his tone hushed. “You want me not to be mad at you? How else am I supposed to feel, when you decided to go to the fucking Chancellor and confess to a crime that could get you floated? Do you want me to just shrug that off or something, because I seriously don’t understand how I’m supposed to feel anything _but_ furious right now!”

 

“You don’t understand! I can’t just let Finn die for something _I_ did, I can’t!” Her words end on a higher pitch as another contraction hits, her fingers gripping Murphy’s tightly while she breathes through it, panicked at the thought that her baby is going to be born while Murphy's angry with her.

 

His temper seems to deflate by the time it’s over, concern taking it's place until her hand relaxes in his once again, and he gently tucks the loose hair around her face back behind her ear. “I know you can’t. But we’re in this together, and you should’ve told me about it, should’ve trusted me to help you figure something out.”

 

 _Oh_ , she realizes, _he’s hurt as well as angry_. She messed up more than she thought. “No, Murphy, it wasn’t that I didn’t trust you, I promise. I mean, maybe at first, considering we’d only just met, but… it wasn’t that.” She looks away from him, taking a deep breath. He deserves to know all of it. “I spent years thinking it over, but I hadn’t been able to think of any way to get Finn out. I was planning to confess before his birthday, but then Abby offered this deal and I thought it could be my chance to not just save him, but maybe me too in the process. It felt like the miracle I’d been hoping for, you know?”

 

He nods, but he still doesn’t look convinced that she trusts him. Raven sighs, knowing she really should have told him all this from the start. “Confessing was always my back-up plan, because I never truly thought that Jaha would go along with Abby’s deal, even if she thought it would work. It was scary enough, thinking about confessing when it was just _me_ I had to worry about, but knowing how high the chances were that I would get pregnant… I didn’t even want to think about it, let alone say it out loud. When we were together, I felt like I should tell you, I _wanted_ to tell you, but the words just wouldn’t come. It made it too real, saying it all out loud. How should I have put it, that I was planning on dying and abandoning my baby, or that it felt like the right thing to do to save Finn when it was just me, but once a baby was involved that I wanted to back out, even though I was still guilty of the crime? What does it say about me that even up until the night before I went to the Chancellor’s office, I still wasn’t completely sure what to do?”

 

Murphy doesn’t respond right away, only looking thoughtful as he meets her eyes, the doubt in her mind feeling like a heavy ball of lead that’s rolled to the pit of her stomach. After another few moments of pins and needles waiting for him to speak, he releases her palm, nudging her shoulder instead. “Move over.”

 

She scoots over in the narrow bed, unclear about his intentions but following his instructions anyway. When there’s enough room, he sits on the edge of the mattress near her waist, facing her as he pulls her up into his embrace, and it’s such an overwhelming relief that she starts to cry.

 

“You don’t make it easy to stay angry with you, I’ll give you that.” His hands rub over her back as she takes in the scent of him, wanting to be as close as her belly allows as she lets him soothe her. “Raven, listen to me. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you had second thoughts about confessing. It just means you were looking out for our baby, wanting to protect her because babies need their mothers. That’s a good thing. I don’t like it, but I get it, that it was something you couldn’t talk about, but now I know and _nothing_ is going to happen to you.”

 

Maybe it’s the labor hormones, or maybe it’s just that she does feel so much better now that it isn’t a secret she’s keeping from him, but she believes him and keeps her arms tight around him while the next contraction ripples through her. He continues massaging her back and for the first time she lets herself imagine what her life could be like if she doesn’t have to die.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh, we're closing in on the finale! I'm so excited!  
> And now fandom is all caught up on the 2 episodes and we can all watch 6x03 together and I'm so ready for Tuesday! But also nervous because this is The 100.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while on this one, but I had both a drop off in my time available to write and I felt really picky for some reason, resulting in at least three complete rewrites of this final chapter until I felt like it was what I wanted. This one ended up going long but at least it finally feels right! It's about 8400 words, and I hope you enjoy the ending! Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me on this!  
> 

 

Well, the moon gives light and it shines by night  
When I scarcely feel the glow  
We learn to live and then we forgive  
Over the road we're bound to go  
More frailer than the flowers, these precious hours  
That keep us so tightly bound  
You come to my eyes like a vision from the skies  
And I'll be with you when the deal goes down  
~ When The Deal Goes Down, Bob Dylan

 

Abby had been wrong, for a change. The baby didn’t come before the night was over, instead not making her appearance until almost three A.M. the next morning. It had been a grueling labor, and Raven was exhausted, cranky and starving, but even the pain of the birth faded away once her daughter was placed in her arms. She doesn’t know everything that happened next, too caught up in staring at the tiny human who suddenly existed, but she does remember the look on Murphy’s face when he carefully stroked his finger over the satiny soft dark hair peeking out over the top of the blanket Abby wrapped their baby in. And she knows that at some point after Abby had discreetly cleaned her up, someone had brought in food and Raven hadn’t cared how greedily she’d wolfed it down, because it helped to finally clear out the strange fog in her mind that labor had brought on.

 

She takes a long gulp of water, watching quietly as Murphy looks down into the small cot that Abby had rolled in, giving Raven’s arms a break so she could eat. “You know, you are allowed to hold her.”

 

Murphy glances up, startled. “She’s sleeping, and that’s what you should be doing, if you’re finished eating.”

 

“I could say the same about you. I may have been in some sort of giving-birth zone there for a while, but I do remember you were awake this whole time right along with me. Did you eat something?”

 

He laughs quietly as he gently wheels the little cot closer to Raven and attaches it to the side of her own bed. “I guess you don’t remember, but that’s actually your fourth helping of food. I ate during the first round, which was at least an hour ago.”

 

“Huh. I don’t remember that at all. I guess that’s why people on Earth used to have more than one child, because even though I know I literally just experienced labor a few hours ago, it almost feels like a distant memory already.”

 

“You do feel okay though, right?” Murphy looks at her with concern and it fills her with warmth.

 

Raven takes a moment to assess her body now that the pressing need for food has been satisfied. “I think so. I’m sore, and really tired but also full of adrenaline.” She holds her hands up, examining them closely. “And weirdly, my fingers feel kind of achy.”

 

“That might’ve had something to do with how tightly you were squeezing my hands for about three hours straight.”

 

With a sassy grin, Raven pushes the button to flatten out the medical bed, cautiously wriggling farther under the sheet. “You got off easy if all you have is aching fingers, so don’t expect an apology. How about you turn off that light and get in here with me so we can figure out what we’re going to name her before we go to sleep for a couple of days.”

 

“When Abby left, she said people from medical would be checking on you and the baby for the next few hours, but they’d try to keep it dark back here since we’re up so late. Or early, whatever.” He turns off the light, gingerly climbing in behind her afterwards, and Raven is reminded of their first night together in this same position. Instead of looking out at the stars, this time they’re admiring their daughter, and Murphy doesn’t hesitate to rest his hand on her thigh as he looks over her shoulder.

 

“Have you thought about any names you like, or anyone you want to name her after?”

 

“No, I wouldn’t know where to start. I don’t like anyone but you.” He emphasizes his point with a kiss along her ear, and the affectionate disbelief in her tone makes him smile when she answers.

 

“That’s not true and you know it. I know for a fact that you like me, Abby and Guard Miller, which just goes to show how much of a people person you really are, though you try to hide it.”

 

“Alright, maybe you’ve found me out. But that doesn’t mean I have any suggestions for names. What about you, you have to have some ideas.”

 

Raven is quiet for a moment, reaching over to fuss with the little white hat on the baby’s head. “I did have one name I thought about. When I was a kid, I did a report on the first female American astronaut. She accomplished so much at a young age - she was an astronaut, engineer and physicist. I started getting more interested in science and space after I read her story because she inspired me. Her name was Sally Kristen Ride, and I always did like the ‘Kristen’ part.”

 

“I like it. Consider me convinced. Now let’s go to sleep before she wakes up.”

 

“But we still have to decide on a middle name!”

 

“Last time I saw you, you told me ‘we can work out the rest of the details later’, and now it’s my turn to say it. You need to rest.” He tucks the blanket around her tighter, hoping she’ll give in.

 

“Mmm...Look at her though. She’s amazing, isn’t she?”

 

“She’s perfect, and she looks like you. You did good.”

 

“I did do good.” She sounds inordinately pleased with herself, but he can’t blame her in the least. Watching her go through the whole process of giving birth left him in total admiration of how strong she was, and he burrows his face into the back of her neck, feeling the worry and tension from the long labor thankfully leave his thoughts at last.

 

She’s quiet for ages, and he thinks maybe she’s finally fallen asleep when her whisper reaches his ears. “I’m glad you were with me, Murphy.”

 

“Me too.”

 

***

 

Raven gives them three days to settle into a routine before she forces the issue. It just so happens that it’s easily the happiest three days of her life. For privacy, Abby herded them into the same room she and Murphy had first met each other in months ago, and she’s secretly delighted that she’s getting to know her daughter in the same place she got to know Murphy.

 

When he’s not looking, she sneaks covert glances as Murphy gains confidence with holding and caring for Kristen when he gets up with her, even though Raven’s supposed to be catching up on her own sleep. Being tired is worth watching the enthralled look on his face, though, and she suspects the same awed gleam is in her own eyes when she stares at Kristen. Although Abby and Jackson check in on how they’re doing, the days are their own, and it’s a glimpse into a future Raven has hardly dared to consider for herself. It isn’t just that she’s happy in the moments with Murphy and Kristen - it’s that she can envision this being her life now, to be together with them each morning, to go to sleep with them each night and have that settled, utter awareness that this is where she belongs.

 

On the third afternoon, Sinclair comes by to congratulate her, and he ends up staying for a while, making Murphy actually laugh when he shares a few stories from Raven’s time as a young apprentice in Mecha Station. It moves her, to see them getting along so well, and when Sinclair hands her a small box that he brought along as a present, it’s no wonder she tears up when she opens it. It’s a baby blanket, a soft, faded yellow rectangle that is clearly a handmade treasure.

 

“Oh, this is… it’s beautiful. It’s too much. Sinclair, I can’t accept this - “

 

“No, none of that,” Sinclair interrupts, standing next to her chair and smiling down at her. “It’s mine to give, something that’s been in my family since the beginning of the Ark. Apparently one of my earlier relatives liked to knit. Anyway, you know my wife and I were never able to have children, Raven, and I want you to have this. It’s fitting, so don’t hurt my feelings by saying no.”

 

She gets to her feet slowly, still navigating the changes in her body after the birth, and hugs Sinclair tight. He’s been in her life almost ten years now, and might just know her better than anyone else. He returns the embrace fondly, nodding in agreement when she promises they’ll take special care of the blanket.

 

Sinclair steps back slightly and leans down to speak softly. “About that issue we talked about before, I don’t see a problem.”

 

Raven’s smile gets even bigger with this confirmation as Sinclair lingers for a few more minutes before telling them both goodbye and reminding Raven she shouldn’t even consider returning to work any time soon.

 

When he’s gone, Murphy turns to put Kristen to sleep in her bed before Raven will have to feed her again. “You were right about him,” he agrees. “And he’s definitely got a soft spot for you.”

 

She rolls her eyes at the sly grin he’s giving her and walks over, carefully tucking the yellow blanket over the baby. “When I first started with Sinclair as my mentor, I used to pretend he was my dad. He’s nice to everybody, but I think he could tell I really benefited from his attention. He’s pretty great, and I should tell you that after I confessed to Jaha, I went to Sinclair and told him some of what was going on - not everything, but enough to get him to make me a promise.”

 

“I guess this means we’re talking about it now, huh?” Murphy asks before taking her hand in his to lead her over to the side of the bed where they both take a seat.

 

“Not thinking about it the last couple of days has been wonderful, but I don’t want any more secrets between us.”

 

“Alright, how about you start by telling me what you made Sinclair promise.”

 

Sighing, Raven grips his fingers tighter, well aware this topic isn’t going to be an easy one. “After I confessed to Jaha, I snuck in to see you and let you think I was nervous about the birth in order to get you to promise to raise Kristen on your own if you had to.” At Murphy’s agitated grunt, Raven narrows her eyes defiantly. “Yes, I should have been honest with you, but there wasn’t anything you could have done at that point. You were stuck in the Sky Box and Jaha had made it clear to me that he wasn’t letting you out. But he also told me that no decisions would be made until after the birth either. So I understand that you’re mad, both because I did it without talking to you first and also because you thought it meant I didn’t trust you, but just know that at the very least, I felt better these last couple of months knowing that no matter what happened to me, you promised you would take care of our baby.”

 

“You do know how to play dirty, don’t you?” Murphy shakes his head, but Raven can tell there’s no real heat behind it. “I’m never going to like that you confessed to the Chancellor,” he holds up his free hand to stop Raven from interrupting when her mouth opens to do just that. “Nope, not even if I understand your motives. But I can be glad that it brought you some stress relief to have me make that promise, even if you did get it out of me under false pretenses. And, even though maybe you’re right that I couldn’t have done anything about it all, being locked up in the Sky Box like you pointed out, that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t have helped figure out a solution or shared the weight of it with you. No matter what else you think in that head of yours, about me or about whatever situation we’re in, remember one thing from here on out, okay? That we both want what’s best for her.” Murphy jerks his chin towards Kristen before his eyes stare hard into hers, demanding her agreement.

 

“I do know that, and that’s part of the reason why I asked Sinclair to give you a job if something happened to me. He said yes because I asked him, but after today and meeting you, he brought it up again so we would know it’s not out of obligation, it’s because he wants to do it. And I want you to swear that you’ll take it, because if I end up getting floated, I’ll like knowing that you and Sinclair are kind of looking out for each other that way.”

 

Murphy leans forward, both of his hands gripping her upper arms fiercely. “Nothing is going to happen to you and you are not going to be floated!”

 

“You don’t know that! Just because we want it to be true doesn’t mean it will be!” Raven swipes roughly at her cheek where a tear has rolled, angry with herself for getting emotional.

 

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Raven. Jaha already knows that. He called me into his office and told me all of it, how you confessed and how it was Finn’s idea. Told me that he could pardon you and me and wrap it up into this population issue but Finn would be harder to release even though that’s what your deal was. It’s just math to him - he needs someone to be guilty and it isn’t going to be you.”

 

If she was just listening to his words, his tone would have given nothing away, but it’s his eyes that shift, just slightly, and there’s a heavy feeling of dread that comes over her. “What did you do? What did you do?”

 

His hands drop away as his body stiffens. “Nothing you weren’t prepared to do, nothing you wouldn’t do yourself.”

 

“No, I will not let you sacrifice yourself for me! It’s exactly why I wouldn’t let Finn die in my place, and you think I’m going to let that happen to you? No! I won’t let you!”

 

“There’s no ‘letting’ me, Raven - this is my choice. Mine. This was exactly what was going to happen to me as soon as I hit twenty-one, anyway. I’m a criminal who just got a reprieve for a little while.”

 

“You were only a kid. You’re not a criminal and I don’t want you to talk like that about yourself!” There’s no use wiping the tears away now, but Raven makes a shaky attempt anyway before she awkwardly lunges towards Murphy, wrapping her arms around him as she burrows her face into his neck. “This is not the best thing for Kristen, how can you be so matter of fact about this?”

 

He smoothes one hand over her hair, quiet for a few moments. “She needs her mother more than anything, you know that. You’re nursing her, you have a good job, you have people who love you and they’ll love her too. When Collins gets released, he can help you raise her and you can be that family I know you always wanted.”

 

When his words register, Raven is almost too shocked to speak. Sitting up, she pushes on his chest until they’re eye to eye once more. “What the hell, Murphy, are you crazy? I don’t want to raise Kristen with anyone else! Finn getting out could never be some kind of replacement for you, not for her and not for me either.” There’s confusion written on his face and it occurs to Raven that maybe he doesn’t know, that she hasn’t exactly been forthcoming with her thoughts when they’ve been together even though she’s been thinking it all, feeling it all, for so long.

 

She twists her fingers into the fabric of his shirt, right over his heart, feeling the reassuring thud beneath her palm. He stares at her, blue eyes wide with surprise.

 

“This whole situation is about as fucked up as they come, but it’s pretty much the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m sorry if you didn’t know that already.” Taking a deep breath, she wants to say more, wants to tell him that she hasn’t been in love with Finn for years if she was honest about it, that she’s a hypocrite because even though she might’ve been resigned to leaving Kristen in Murphy’s capable hands and that he should be able to make that same choice himself, she won’t let him, he can’t leave her.

 

But the words never come because Murphy’s lips are insistent on hers, communicating in a different way but sending the exact same message.

 

***

 

Murphy opens his eyes to the sound of Kristen’s cries the next morning. His face is pressed against Raven’s shoulder, her scent filling his nostrils and his arm slung across her hips so they can both fit in the small bed. Brushing his lips over the bare skin near his mouth, he carefully gets up and goes to the baby so he can change her before he has to wake Raven. They hadn’t done more than kiss the night before, and at first he’d felt guilty that he’d started something they both knew they couldn’t finish, not with Raven still healing. She’d kissed him back eagerly though, and it was so much easier to convey how he felt with his body instead of tripping over inadequate statements. He wanted to tell her, and she deserved to hear it, but in the moment he had been caught up with her telling him that she was happy, that despite all of it, she wouldn’t take it back and was even glad for it. Of course he knew Kristen was the cause of it, saw how much Raven loved her in every interaction she had with their daughter already, but to know that she included him too, that she didn’t want to replace him with the guy she’d made this desperate deal for to begin with … It had been important, too important for him to ruin by sticking his foot in his mouth, so he’d done the only other thing he could and tried to explain himself with the way that he touched her. He thought maybe she’d understood, but even so, he wanted to put things into words like she could.

 

Leaning down to pin a clean diaper in place, he whispers softly to Kristen. “It must be something about a tiny baby that makes it simple to say I love you. It’s much harder to say it to your mother. But she says it to you all the time. You’re going to grow up different, and it won’t be as tough, so you’ll know better.” The baby’s watching him with her solemn dark eyes as he finishes wrapping her up. “I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I promise I’ll say it before I have to go, alright?”

 

He gathers her close in the crook of his arm and walks back to where Raven is still deep asleep. Pulling his pillow from where he left it, he puts it along the edge of the bed to make a barrier, nestling Kristen into the space between it and Raven. She doesn’t wake until he pulls the covers off her so she gets chilled, and he laughs at the grumpy face she makes until she finally opens her eyes, squinting up at them blearily.

 

“She’s getting impatient for her breakfast,” he explains.

 

“Well, we can’t have that, can we?” Raven smiles down tiredly but adoringly at Kristen, and as the baby starts to nurse, Murphy pours Raven a glass of water and brings it over.

 

“Thanks,” she sips it gratefully and then grabs his arm before he can move to clear off the table for breakfast. “I thought of a plan last night, after you fell asleep.”

 

“I’m listening.”

 

“Abby said the Council wasn’t unanimous, but they did pass the measure for the less-violent prisoners to be pardoned if they made a match and agreed to have children. If Jaha considers us both law-breakers, then it stands to reason that we could be pardoned because we matched up and had Kristen, even disregarding the deals we made with Abby to begin with. He’d be able to pardon you for it because of the new law and he could say we were the trial couple without losing face. Even if it came out that I was the one who space-walked, I could be pardoned based on having the baby too. It’s Finn who’s the problem - letting him out after everyone knows about his crime would just open the door to other people demanding some kind of deal. We have to find a way to get him out while letting Jaha save face on him too, and there’s only one way to do that.”

 

Murphy nods slowly. “Yeah, he needs a match too. But you told me Abby has been trying harder to find one for him ever since you made your deal, and she hasn’t found anyone yet. And we don’t know how much time we’re working with now that you’re not pregnant anymore.”

 

“I know. Maybe I could go to Jaha and ask him for an extension or something.”

 

“No!” Waving his hand emphatically, Murphy shuts that suggestion down. “I don’t want you on Jaha’s radar any more than you already are. If we want to know more about timing, let’s ask Abby to do it - Jaha may have a political point about not releasing Finn, but I don’t think it will sit well with her that our deals aren’t being met to the letter, and she’s more likely to get somewhere with him in an argument, I’d bet.

 

“Okay, I’ll ask her today. I also want to tell her that I’ll help with whatever she and Jackson need in order to process more tests for Finn and any women who might fit with him. Sinclair doesn’t expect me at work for a while but that doesn’t mean I can’t make myself useful. And speaking of Finn, I should go see him and explain all this, especially once we know what the deadline is. He might not cooperate as much if he doesn’t know what’s on the line.”

 

It shouldn’t matter, not when he knows Raven cares about him too, so he swallows down the protest of jealousy that wants to come out of his throat and tries to pretend he’s fine with it. “You should put your name on the visitor’s list as soon as you can, so you get a spot. They only let in so many people each time. Maybe Guard Miller can help with that.”

 

“We can have Abby ask him too, if we need that. I think you should try and stay in this room as much as you can, for the same reasons you don’t want me talking to Jaha. The more people who know you’re here, the more curious people will get. You may have been let out to be at the birth but we’re on borrowed time until we resolve all this, and the last thing I want is you going back to the Sky Box.” Raven lets her fingers slide down his arm, releasing her hold on him so she can lift Kristin and start to nurse on the other side. “Maybe Abby can convince Jaha all this stress won’t be good for my ability to feed her or something. Nursing isn’t easy to begin with and I didn’t sleep well, trying to figure it all out.”

 

“Hey,” Murphy hands her the glass of water again, subtly reminding her to drink more like Abby advised. “Remember what we said last night. We do what’s best for her. No insane late nights and working so hard you can’t shut your brain off. I mean it. You need to be taking care of yourself too.”

 

He’s serious, that’s obvious, but there’s no way she’s going to sit back and not do everything she can to save him, because that’s what this is now. No matter how much she argues with him, Murphy thinks the right thing to do is sacrifice himself if Jaha demands blood, and if he thinks a few words of caution are going to change her course, then he doesn’t know her as well as she believes he does.

 

“Mmm-hmm, definitely,” she mumbles as she tries her best to look sincere. From the skeptical twist of his mouth, she probably doesn’t succeed, but he doesn’t say anything else as he turns to clear off the table.

 

***

 

Abby pulled some strings and got her on the visitor’s list quickly, considering their deadline, but it seems strange, that she’s not nervous about seeing Finn after so long. As she sits and waits for him to arrive in the tiny visiting room, she primarily feels a sense of urgency, wanting to convince him as quickly as possible to cooperate with her plans so they can just get to it. She agreed to this mad bargain with the intent of saving Finn, and Murphy was her means to accomplish it. Yet here she was, months later, and it’s the same situation she faced before but now she needs to save Murphy and Finn is the one who is going to help her do it. The absurdity of it all doesn’t escape her.

 

The door across from her opens, and a guard pushes Finn through. He’s older than the last time she saw him, his face more mature since it’s been over two years ago now, so she supposes it’s the same for her. She stands, a smile on her face as he looks at her in stunned disbelief.

 

“Raven! What are you doing here? I told you never to come visit!”

 

“I know you did, but a few things have changed. And anyway, I shouldn’t have listened to you to begin with. It’s been too long and we need to talk, but I am glad to see you.” She takes a few steps towards him, slightly uncertain about how receptive he'll be, but he meets her halfway in a reassuring hug, at least as much as his restraints will allow.

 

The guard hovers for a moment, clicking Finn’s handcuffs to one side of the table between them, and then he leaves with a reminder that their visit is being recorded. Finn’s eyes flick up to the unconcealed camera in the corner of the room and he makes a jaunty wave with his free hand.

 

Raven grins a little at the gesture. Maybe the Sky Box hasn’t changed Finn that much. She clears her throat, pulling his attention back to her, but before he can speak, Raven jumps right in.

 

“So I don’t want you to think that I’m rushing this, but we have a limited amount of time to talk and I need to make sure we’re on the same page before I leave.” Raven leans closer and lowers her voice. “You might notice your birthday has come and gone, and you’re still here.”

 

Finn’s eyes widen in shock. “You had something to do with that? I should have known.”

 

“I did. I’ll tell you the full details another time, but have you heard anything about the population issue?”

 

“Yeah, it’s the biggest gossip going around right now. People are talking about the chances of getting out if they make a match and pop out a kid. Is it true?”

 

“It is, and I need you to fully cooperate on all of those t-shirt tests, alright?”

 

“Wait, what’s going on? I’ve been doing a lot of those tests already; they’re gross.”

 

Pausing thoughtfully, Raven considers how much might be safe to tell him here, under the watchful eye of the camera. She needs to be careful but she also wants to make sure Finn will fully participate.

 

“You probably noticed I look a little older, just like you do. And you were polite enough not to say anything about it, but I’m a bit heavier lately too. I had a baby last week.” Maybe it wasn’t the best way to reveal it, just blurting things out, but she’s too aware the clock is ticking.

 

He stares back at her uncomprehendingly for a moment as she deliberately widens her eyes, telling him to add things together. “So you’re already in on that, then? I don’t understand, with who? Are you okay?”

 

That’s the part of Finn she probably missed the most, while he’s been locked away; that he was always looking out for her. It’s a nice feeling to hear him show concern, and she imagines for just a moment how good it would be if she was able to have her friend back in her life regularly. “I guess you could say I agreed to participate in the early stages once it was clear it might be worth my while.” She eyes him again, wishing she could will him to understand what she was getting at. “I matched with John Murphy, and he went along with things as well. We have a daughter named Kristen. She’s perfect, and I’m...more than okay.”

 

It’s not the right description, she knows that, but it’s so hard to put into a sentence just what her feelings are, especially when Finn doesn’t know everything that’s gone on.

 

He studies her for a moment, the gaze of an old friend who knows what to look for. “I’m aware of who he is, sort of keeps to himself but I haven’t heard anything awful about the guy. I almost can’t believe it, that you have a baby, especially if you did this for any reason that involved me.”

 

“It was at first, but Finn… You should know that after you got arrested and told me to stay away, my feelings started to change. I hadn’t thought of you as my boyfriend for ages before I agreed to this, and even though I went along with this in the beginning for you, things just happened. I should have come to see you, to break up with you in person instead of just having it be true in my mind.”

 

To her surprise, Finn starts to chuckle as she’s talking, but then he shakes his head at her. “Raven, you’ve always been so responsible. I wasn’t exactly lonely in here, and I probably didn’t wait near as long as you did. You have nothing to feel guilty about. I mean, we were good for each other, but maybe the fact that we were each separately willing to move on probably told us something we just didn’t acknowledge before, right?”

 

The relief on her face must be evident, because the wrinkle of worry along his forehead disappears as she grabs for his hand. “You’ll always be family, Finn, and I don’t want that to change. But yeah, it does mean something that we moved on, and honestly it makes me feel better to know that you weren’t alone in here.”

 

The satisfied grin on his face is probably a bit more information than she really needs to know, but he squeezes her hand and it feels like they’re kids again and sharing secrets. “It’s been a while, but I can still tell when you look happy, and you seem that way now. Are you?”

 

Now it’s her turn to laugh, and she does, somewhat incredulously at how it’s all turned out. “I am happy, yes. God, I spent so much time trying to find a way to get you out, and never in a million years would I have come up with this. But it’s so close now. There’s a few things we still have to take care of though, and then it’ll all be over.”

 

“What do you need me to do?”

 

“We’re going to be doing so many tests your head is going to spin, but I need you to take them seriously. We’re on a deadline, and I won’t accept anything less than success. We’ve got two pardons but we need three, do you understand?” She lets a little of her panic show through, figuring that Finn will be able to hear it in her voice or read it on her face, and when he laces his fingers through hers, she holds on tight.

 

“I can do that, and we both know you get what you put your mind to. What else?”

 

“You need to sweet talk your parents into forgiving me for avoiding them for so long. I didn’t know how to explain that I was pregnant so I just told them I’ve been working a lot of overtime, and I haven’t been to dinner in ages. I’m sure they’re upset with me, and I really want them to like Murphy and Kristen.”

 

“Are you kidding? When they find out you did things to save me, are gonna bring them a baby to spoil and they get to meet the guy who put this kind of smile on your face, you’ll instantly rocket to favorite-kid status, just wait.”

 

***

 

Murphy’s pacing their small room with a fussy Kristen in his arms when she returns from seeing Finn. Raven knew he was nervous about her going, maybe even jealous, which is completely ridiculous. The way she feels about Finn has mellowed and muted with his absence until she can barely remember now what it was like to think she was in love with him. Seeing him felt like family to her, someone she missed and wanted to spend time with, certainly, but it’s a far different feeling that flutters in her chest when Murphy looks happy to see her and walks closer with the baby.

 

“She’s hungry, I think, and finished the last of the bottle almost an hour ago. Fussy ever since because I can’t exactly help her out.” He jiggles Kristen a little higher on his shoulder but it’s no use now as the cries only get louder.

 

“Aww, I bet she can smell me, poor baby. Let me wash my hands and get comfortable and then I’ll take her.”

 

Kristen only calms once she gets what she wants, lying in the middle of the bed and finally eating with Raven curled around her on one side.

 

“How did it go?” Murphy perches warily on the edge of the bed opposite them, but Raven reaches over, grasping his wrist and tugging him down until he’s carefully laying to face them, nudging her knees between his so they can both fit, but also wanting the comfort of having him close.

 

“It was good,” she smiles, “it doesn’t seem like being in the Sky Box made him all that different.”

 

Murphy resists the urge to roll his eyes. No, it probably wouldn’t change someone like Finn, who had regular visitors and had always found a way to have fun. And really, he hadn’t been there all that long anyway, in comparison. Still, he can be glad that Raven’s not upset. “Were you able to get him onboard with even more testing?”

 

“Yes, he’ll cooperate. I think he understands how much is at stake even though I couldn’t spell everything out with the cameras watching, and he knows I’m going to be working on it, which means he knows I’ll make it happen.” She grins at him over Kristen’s head, confident in her abilities, and he’s reminded once again how lucky he is to have gotten tangled up in this whole mess to begin with. Before, she had told him that it had been the best thing that had ever happened to her, but for him it went beyond that. He’s thinking about how to explain it to her when her fingers slide up his arm to the inside of his elbow, tickling the sensitive skin.

 

“He said I look happy, and I told him I am. It’s weird, right, to feel that way when we still have things hanging over us and Abby said we don’t have much time. But this, being here with you and Kristen, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I didn’t know I was lonely until we met, and now I’m not anymore.”

 

It’s captivating, the way she looks at him with such sincerity and in the simple ability she has to say such meaningful words to begin with. He envies and admires how candid she can be, has been from the day they first met, really, while he’s so much more practiced in concealing his true emotions, hiding them completely or burying them under layers of sarcasm and cynicism. She makes him want to do better, they both do, and as he looks between the small, dark-haired head of his daughter and the deep brown eyes of the woman who has come to mean everything to him, it’s somehow imperative that he try.

 

“I was always lonely and never expected anything else,” he reveals, settling his palm along the curve of her waist. “And then you came along and changed everything. I can’t say for sure when it was. The scent of your shirt in that test. Walking in the door that first day when you turned around to look at me. Maybe even the blunt way you got me to talk to you when I wasn’t planning to. All of them, everything about you makes me want to tell you things, to let you know who I am.”

 

The tightness in his chest, the painful squeeze of trying to get the words past his lips is made bearable with the shining eyes and brilliant smile she gives him, but he has to keep going, needs to say it all while he still has the nerve to get through it.

 

“Maybe we won’t have much more time, maybe we will. But no matter what happens, taking that deal that brought you - and now her too,” he pauses as he looks down at their daughter as she greedily nurses. “It’s all been worth it and I want you to know I love you.”

 

An exuberant laugh bubbles up from her throat, at odds with the tear sliding down her cheek, and he falls in love with her even more when her voice takes on a teasing lilt. “That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

 

Groaning at how very difficult it actually was, he carefully leans in, mindful of Kristen as he tips his head to kiss Raven’s upturned mouth. His hand skims over her side to cradle her jaw, his thumb wiping away the wetness from her happy tears, but before he can deepen the kiss, Raven pulls back slightly, taking in a shaky breath.

 

“I love you, too, in case that part wasn’t clear.”

  
It’s a different kind of constricting in his chest, to hear the words instead of speaking them, and it sends a flood of heat washing over him, stirring him up physically and emotionally. He brushes his lips across her forehead and down towards her ear, her eyes closing as she swallows heavily.

 

“Say it again,” he instructs in a husky whisper, sucking her earlobe between his lips.

 

Raven moans noisily, her fingers gripping the front of his shirt reflexively.

 

“I love you,” she repeats, her knee pushing further between his and her body shifting as close as she can with the baby between them. She must take it too far though, as a sudden unhappy cry rings out in the quiet room.

 

“Oh, damn. I interrupted her hundredth meal of the day,” Raven fretted. “Look, she’s turning red, she’s so angry.”

 

He can relate, he decides, not being that thrilled about being interrupted himself. “With us as parents, probably not all that unexpected that she’s got a temper.”

 

With practiced ease, Raven lifts Kristen and rolls her body over so she can nurse on the other side, her back now to Murphy as she gets the baby settled in once more, soothing words of comfort echoing softly as she calms her down.

 

Moving closer, he scrapes her hair to the side, nuzzling Raven’s neck as he resigns himself to not being able to continue where they left off. The heady exhilaration he’s feeling at both confessing his love and hearing hers in return is more than enough to make up for it, though, so he wills his body to relax even as he molds himself to Raven’s curves.

 

She murmurs contentedly, rubbing her foot against his lower legs, and he knows he’s never been happier.

 

***

 

Six stressful and dreadful days later, after Raven’s exhausted herself trying to find a match for Finn and Murphy’s on edge from worrying about her and taking care of the baby, Raven tiptoes quietly in the door, desperately hoping not to wake Kristen. It’s almost three AM, and she’ll be up soon for a feeding, but all of them can use every precious extra minute of sleep they can get, so she tugs off her clothes, dropping them carelessly on the floor as she crawls in next to Murphy in only her underwear.

 

He’s on alert for baby noises though, and wakes when the bed creaks, soundlessly pulling her into his arms and kissing the top of her head. He doesn’t ask what kept her or why she took so long, and warmth blooms inside her as she lets herself fully realize that it’s over.

 

“I did it,” she whispers, her head tucked under his chin, her lips grazing against his neck.

 

“Of course you did,” Murphy replies quietly, and she can hear the proud faith he has in her come through in his voice. “You’re amazing, and if anyone could do it, it would be you. Now turn your brain off and go to sleep because you need it, and honestly, so do I.”

 

His hands rub up and down her back, easing the tension there, and she breathes in his scent, letting it relax her further. _No one is going to die,_ she thought, and _he’s not going to leave me_. She snuggles closer, pressing her breasts into his chest, and her eyes drift closed with the knowledge that she’s saved him, and herself and Kristen in the process.

 

***

  
_Four months later..._

 

“Alright, don’t be mad, but I sort of got us into a few things today,” Raven announces as she walks through the door to their small apartment in Mecha Station. Murphy’s over near what passes for their tiny kitchen, making something that smells really good, though he gives her an aggrieved look over his shoulder.

 

She strides over and plucks Kristen out of the swing that she and Sinclair made out of spare parts, lifting her up in the air and smacking a kiss on her chubby little cheek after being gone half the day.

 

“What did you do?”

 

“It’s not that bad,” Raven reassured him, although honestly he’ll probably think it is. “I just promised Finn’s mom that we’d come to dinner tomorrow night. She said when we’re there it makes things less awkward for everyone.”

 

Murphy snorts. “Yeah, right. It’s not less awkward, it’s just that between you and her and the way you drag the rest of us into it, there’s more conversation when we’re there too.”

 

Raven raises her eyebrows. “Oh, so you get _dragged_ into chats with Mr. Collins about that hockey sport he turns on for you since you mentioned once that you liked watching it? Or you’re being _dragged_ into it when Finn’s mom makes your favorite dessert and gives you a bigger piece than anyone else?”

 

A smile twitches at the corner of his lips as he shrugs and walks over to her, leaning down for a kiss hello. “I can’t help it if they like me,” he tells her, sounding smug, but she isn’t mad when it’s exactly what she hoped for. Finn’s parents took to Murphy right away, not only thrilled with how he’d saved Raven so she could then save Finn, but also because they could see how happy he made her.

 

“You already know I don’t seriously mind going over there,” he admits. “They fuss over Kristen and they helped you out when you really needed it. Even if I didn’t like them, I’d be willing to put up with regular dinners with them just for that. They’re great, same as Sinclair. It’s the other two that make it awkward and you know it.”

 

She wrinkles her nose at the truth of his accusation. He’s right. It’s Finn and his match that set everyone on edge, and Raven feels guilty for her part in it every time she sees them together. Things were getting desperate as the end date had approached, and she and Abby still hadn’t found a match for Finn. It had been her idea, to lower the age range in order to increase the size of the potential group of matches, though Raven had never intended that anyone younger should have a baby immediately. She’d checked and double checked with Abby, and they both had agreed that the language of the pardons for those in the Sky Box was worded in such a way that even if Finn hadn’t had a baby right away, he could still be saved based on the match being an eventual pairing.

 

They’d lowered the age to sixteen, and Octavia Blake had been the eventual saving grace for them all, even if she didn’t know the various details. She’d been in the Sky Box herself, the infamous ‘Girl Under the Floor’, and was well aware of Finn’s apparent playboy status. Raven had rolled her eyes when Finn eventually confessed he’d had rather a lot of sexual partners while he was locked up, and that was primarily why Octavia was upset and had continued to stay that way. Mrs. Collins had told Raven that the only time dinner was tolerable was when she, Murphy and Kristen were present, and Raven well believed it.

 

“I guess not everyone is going to fall for each other as quickly as we did,” Raven teases, although it’s not far from the truth. “Part of me wants to tell her that if the sex is anything like you and me, she’ll forget all about what Finn did before he matched with her, but she’s only sixteen and I can’t bring myself to have that conversation yet. I think they’ll be a good match once she’s a little older, but for now...it is what it is.”

 

Murphy’s face changes from looking horrified at the idea of her telling Octavia about their sex life to being arrogant that she thinks it’s so good. He deserves the credit, honestly, and her mind starts to wander to this evening after they put Kristen to bed, and how he can make her body respond to every little touch. It’s Murphy who pulls her out of her imaginings, nudging her wrist as Kristen rests on her hip.

 

“I feel like whatever else you did is big, since you’re throwing out compliments and trying to flatter me.”

 

“I might’ve...done something sort of big, yeah…” she concedes, grinning. “But we both know I’m not flattering you without reason.”

 

His eyes go heated in an instant, making her wonder if Kristen might cooperate and get sleepy now, but there’s only joyful babbling when she looks down at her daughter, and Raven tries to smother the flash of frustration that she can’t just throw herself at Murphy immediately.

 

“Tell me what you did.” The bossiness laced through his tone only adds to the arousal that his stare is provoking, and Raven licks her lips nervously.

 

“Jaha made me another offer,” she blurts, and the whole story comes tumbling out. “He found me today as I was working on a project for Sinclair. He asked me to go with him, saying he had something to show me, and he took me to a vacant family unit near Sinclair’s. It was big, with a real kitchen and the bedroom that would be ours actually had a window in it, and there was a private attached bathroom with a shower just like the one we had when we were in medical.” Her eyes glaze over when she thinks about the first shower they’d shared together, and how they might get the chance to take things even further. Shaking her head, she watches as Murphy grins, possibly thinking the same thing.

 

“Anyway, Jaha said that Sinclair wants to offer me a higher position, and that if I take it and we agree to have another baby within two years to keep the population growing, he’ll give us the apartment in good faith.”

 

Murphy stalks closer to her and takes Kristen. She goes willingly, patting her little hands along his chest as he carries her over to the penned play area they have on the floor for her, lined with blankets. He puts her down, scooting a few soft toys within reach, and turns back to Raven, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

 

“And what did you say to Jaha’s new bargain?”

 

“Well if you had seen that bedroom window and shower, you would have agreed to it right then, too!” And okay, she’s coming across a little defensive, and yeah she shouldn’t have agreed without talking to Murphy first, but just the thought of them being able to lay in bed again and look out the window into space was enough to convince her. And the second bathroom attached to their room, with a private shower… god just the idea of having his body sudsy with soap and rubbing all over her again had gotten her immediately wet, and even the Chancellor had looked surprised at how quickly she’d said yes.

 

A low laugh rumbles through Murphy as his fingers slide through her hair and he tilts her head up to look at him. Raven shivers in anticipation as his other arm wraps around her waist, pulling her against him so she can feel how hard he is.

 

“You can make whatever deals you want,” he promises. “Just so long as we’re together.”

 

“Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

 

He kisses her then, exactly the way she likes, and she lets him back her up until her legs hit the couch, yanking him down on top of her. Call it intuition, but she has a feeling this deal was going to work out just as well as the first one.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what do you think? Comments and kudos are always much appreciated, and if anyone wants to gush over the Monte Carlo pics we've been getting this weekend of Lindsey & Richard, oh am I ever here for that! I know I'm not the only Murven writer feeling the red carpet AU inspiration!!!


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